After a lot of self reflection i have decided to post this story. A couple of days ago i was reminded of why i named this blog Goodbye Dignity, Hello Motherhood. I have done a whole lot of things i never thought i would since i had kids. For instance...i honestly cannot recall the last time i went to the bathroom by myself, i have had to answer questions about boobies and bottoms in front of perfect strangers, and then of course there is childbirth and everything that goes along with it. I know some people think "it is just so beautiful" and "such a miracle" and yes it is amazing. But you are talking to the girl who did not eat for two days before scheduled inductions in hopes of avoiding a bm in front of my dr. during labor. That is committment to preserving some dignity people.
When this happened I thought to myself, "oh my gosh, i am sooo glad no one is here to see this". But then i decided if any story deserves to be on this blog it is this one. And besides, the only people who read this are 1)family and they have to love me anyway and 2)other moms who feel my pain :).
Tuesday afternoon, i had loaded the girls in the car to go visit grammi and papa in Durant. The trip went really well until we entered Savanna. It started with abbey who as you know is potty training. We are still having poop problems so she hadn't been in a while. As we cruise into Savanna she says "I'm gonna be si-ick". I'm thinking she's probably not but i'm going to stop and put the trash can next to her just in case. So i pull in to this HUGE SCARY truck stop that i'm quite certain is full of escaped convicts from Stringtown and "ladies of the night" (ya'll know the one)and hop out to help abbey. By this time she had decided she's not sick but "poopy" and would like a new diaper. She is not poopy but i go ahead and change her on top of the extra seat in the van.
About this time ainsley tells me that her carseat is uncomfortable. So I offer to put her blanket behind her. She says no. Fine, no skin off my back. I get everyone settled again and pull back on the highway. Then Ainsley decides that she DOES want me to put the blanket behind her back. I say no. She starts crying. The crying quickly escalates to a flat out fit. I am undeterred. Call me cold hearted, call me whatever but most of the time tantrums don't do anything but make me more determined to win. Then she decides she needs to go to the bathroom and she cannot wait. All of this happened in a very short time period so we haven't gone far at all and are still in savanna.
I come to the last gas station in savanna pull in the parking lot. Now, normally i travel with a "car potty" to avoid having to go into gas station bathrooms because ewwwww. But of course today i couldn't find it. So after digging through the suitcases for shoes for abbey and ainsley we all get out of the car and i herd everyone into the gas station. Keep in mind that for this next chain of events I am hold alivia the entire time because i didn't have shoes for her and no way was i putting her down in the gas station bathroom. So we make our way into the bathroom and i help ains onto the potty. While she is doing her business she asks if we can get a treat. I say sure cause i'm cool like that. Then abbey says she needs to go. She has on a diaper which is going to complicate things as far as getting it back on while she stands up while I hold another child. Enter my brilliant idea: I'll just throw the diaper away and put another one on her when we get back out to the car. So that is exactly what i do.
Everyone finishes their business and i herd them out to pick out a treat. We had just made it to the candy aisle when abbey announces that her "tummy is hurtin'" and that she needs to go poop. I'm slightly close to panicking because she doesn't have on a diaper and she has on a dress. So there is huge potential for a pof right here in the gas station. BUT, i think, if she poops in the potty we should be fine. So, I herd everyone back to the bathroom. She sits on the potty,does nothing, GRABS AHOLD OF THE GAS STATION TOILET SEAT WITH HER BARE HANDS(heaven help me),says she is done, gets off, and then immediately says her tummy hurts.
We have yet to pick out a treat and pay for it.
I consider my options:
1)Make a run for the car and skip the treat which would mean not doing something i said i would do and i really hate to do that to the girls.
2)Herd everyone out to the car, try to keep my children from going onto the highway that is very close while i put a diaper on abbey, then go back in for the stinking treat
3)Hmmm, there is that very gently used diaper in the bathroom trash
So i do what any self respecting mom would do. I cracked open the lid of the trash can with one finger to see if i could tell exactly what the diaper was touching. As far as i could tell it was laying on paper towels that people had used to dry their hands on. (please Lord let it be) So I reached in up to my elbow and pulled out that diaper and then i performed a diapering feat that i think has yet to be matched. I rediapered abbey while she stood up with one hand while i held alivia. I rock. Except for that part where i went dumpster diving.
You are Superwoman!
ReplyDelete