Sunday, March 15, 2009

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire



Tuesday morning I woke up and decided I had changed Abbey's dirty diapers for the last time. I announced that today she would tinkle and poop in the potty. Keep in mind I have been avoiding this like the plague because of our first run in with potty training. Oh my Lord, we potty trained ainsley for at least 6 years. (as i am typing this i can hear abbey saying from her bed "i need to go tinkle in the potty mom"). I started way to early with ains so i thought i had learned from my mistake and when i eventually started abbey she would have it down in a few days.

Back to tuesday...my plan seemed to be working like a charm. She would tell me when she needed to go and then take care of business, number 1 that is. Around noon i was slightly concerned because she hadn't pooped. Normally, Abbey is extremely prompt with her bms...first thing after breakfast every morning she produces. I'm pondering all this but not to concerned because considering how well she's doing with number 1 i figure number 2 will eventually become convincing enough that she will sit on the potty and do the deed. In fact, i'm comfortable enough with her performance so far that instead of being on her like white on rice, i decide to sit down and check my facebook while she wonders around the house commando.

As a side note here, i have decided that anything i need to know about anything can be found out through status updates on facebook. So I have officially declared it my primary news source bumping People magazine to a close second.

Anywho...back to abbey who is wondering aimlessly with no clothes. Now, what i am about to tell you is not for the faint of heart so consider yourself warned. Abbey has ambled into the kitchen and gotten really quiet. Just as the sounds of silence alert me that something is amiss Abbey cries "mommy, something is on the flo-or!" Lo and behold there on the kitchen floor is the poop i have been eagerly awaiting all morning. Abbey then informs me that she is not done yet. So i scoop her up and plant her booty on the potty. I turn to take care of the mess and people, it was gone..........

That's right ya'll...he swallowed it whole and then licked the floor clean. G-ross. I think he learned his lesson. The next night his stomach was making such weird noises that when he would hear it, he would jump up and start barking like it was coming from some other source. By the way, this is our lab, Reverend, and until about 5 days ago i thought he was precious in every way.

Unfortunately, that was only the first of many pof's (poop on floor). And before you tell me to put panties on the girl to avoid pof's, I have tried it and I've decided i would way rather clean a pof than try to salvage a pair of panties. "Just throw them away!" you say. Brothers and Sisters I am a card carrying member of "I'd rather toss is than clean it". However, it is possible that i have been to lazy to get Abbey her own undies and she might have been wearing Ainsley's. So i decided at some point Ains could become an innocent bystander and until i can make a trip to walmart for some backup undies, I (and by "I" i mean aaron) will be cleaning up pof.

And so this blog goes out to that little blue book i bought at barnes and noble some 2 years ago that promised me i could potty train in a day.

P.S. Yes mom, i did clean the kitchen floor anyway. :)

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