Tuesday, April 21, 2009


This morning while Aaron was making breakfast Ainsley asked me if she could write with a marker. I gave it to her along with the pad that I used to use for my grocery list. I say "used to" because it kept mysteriously disappearing from it's spot on the fridge with all the items listed on it that i needed to get at Wal-mart (which the girls call Mal-Mart). Now I stick a piece of masking tape onto the counter and make my list on there. Aaron laughs at me but hey, it works.

So Ainsley gets this pad and starts to dictate a grocery list to Aaron. Here it is:

ice cream

Now the girl is really not to far off the mark i'm afraid. However, the last item stumped me. I was thinking She wants to eat fish?! How exciting! I mean it's not really my thing but it's sooo healthy! Unfortunately, she went on to explain that what she meant was a pet fish. In keeping with the list theme, I think I'll have her start one titled

Things to do when I no longer live with my parents

1. Get a pet fish

I don't know why this idea is so repulsive to me. I mean we have a 120 pound lab who lives in our house. I am no stranger to the "pleasures" of pet ownership.

You know, now that I think about it, she already has one list going...

Events happening way in the future that i will not participate in:

1. High school
2. Get Baptized

That's right. She told me that she does not want to go to high school. And being the fabulous parent that I am I told her that she didn't have to. I'm really counting on the fact that she is going to forget about that by the time high school rolls around.

And as far as getting baptized...that one is her choice. It's not looking good though. I mean I will consider it progress if we can just witness a baptism from the audience without having a panic attack. I know the Lord will work it out ;).

Monday, April 20, 2009

No title comes to mind that is appropriate.

I just had the following conversation with Ainsley:

Ainsley: Mom, what do you have on your boobies?

(I am wearing a red v-neck t-shirt)

Me: I have a bra on my boobies...why?

Ainsley: Well, there wasn't a big bump there so I didn't know.

Me: Well, unfortunately mommy doesn't have very big boobies.

Ainsley: When will you get your big boobies?

Me: I probably won't get big boobies Ains. God made me just like this.

Ainsley: Ok

And somewhat related, I have heartd Ainsley and Abbey both refer to this article of clothing as "the purple boobies".

Friday, April 17, 2009

Innocent Bystander

So, I just love it when I hear a lesson or read a book or go to bible study and think, "wow, that was a great lesson, but it doesn't really apply to me. I mean, i just really don't have trouble with that." What should immediately follow that thought is "WARNING! WARNING! REVELATION FROM THE LORD HEADED YOUR WAY O SMUG ONE!"

Some of the most recent talks given that I didn't think I really needed to hear were dealing with (all on different occasions) anger, being a servant, and being in a certain place for a certain purpose that God has in mind for you. I can't remember the last time i was angry. I mean aaron and i have "discussions", but we don't yell and i never feel angry. Frustrated, yes. Angry, no. And the being a servant thing...i'm a mother of three small children, enough said. Just kidding, but really, I have always been way on board with the fact that following Jesus means it's just not about me. And the last lesson, about God's timing and purpose for us was from the esther study i am in. You know the story...she is in a royal position so that she can save her people.

So, how you ask, did the Lord reveal to me that maybe i did need a little help in these areas? I'm so glad you asked. :)

God has placed a girl in my life who does not have much going for her at all . I do not even know the extent of the abuse and neglect that may have happened in her life, but it shows from her extremely poor emotional state to her extremely poor hygiene. God has blessed me with the opportunity to spend a lot of time with her just hanging out and talking. I have really gotten to know her well and I have actually started to be there for her not out of "christian duty" or whatever but because I love her. At least I thought I did. But it wasn't the kind of love God calls us to. Because she called me the other day and said she needed a place to stay for one night while her parents were out of town. And my gut reaction was (ugh, i'm so ashamed of this) a little bit repulsed at the idea of it because of reasons previously mentioned. So I said something about talking to aaron and getting back to her.

So, today she calls asking for the answer because tomorrow night is the night. She sounds pretty desperate. She had plans to stay with a friend and now the friend is saying she can't spend tomorrow night with her. So she has no where to go. And I start to get Mad. Fuming. Why is she all of a sudden my responsibility?! Why did her parents leave town without making sure she had a reliable place to stay?! I am feeling totally taken advantage of here! I mean, what if we had been out of town? What then? Whatever you did for one of the least of these, you did for me. Ok, fine. But, I really don't want to be a doormat here! I feel like there is some dishonesty and carelessness happening here and i don't want to be an enabler! This has to stop somewhere right? That is not for you to decide. ok. But, Lord, it's just not convenient for me right now. I never said it would be.

So, I am getting ready to make a bed for someone who I'm not sure is coming because now I can't get a hold of her. But I have been very humbled today and taught a mighty fine lesson about how to love people. Because i imagine that most times in the presence of our Holy Lord i am a clingy, weepy, dysfunctional, stinky mess. And He never turns me away.

So what does the title have to do with anything? Well, unfortunately, there was one from my rage session today. And of course it was the one I love the most. This all took place in the kitchen which Aaron had just finished cleaning. And i went to throw something in the trash which resides in the pantry. Not my first choice but when you have a dog that likes to eat ANYTHING that's where it has to go. So I open the door to toss the trash and the smell of burrito just about knocks me over. Remember, I am already on the warpath. I look and sitting on top of it are cold, stinky burritos from lunch. So now I'm mad because he didn't take out the nasty trash. We have enough smell issues in our house (2 in diapers and a dog) without adding burritos to the mix. I proceed to do what any good wife would do. I sigh as loud as I can without passing out and then do everything I can to make noise while changing the trash bag so he will ask me what's wrong so I can then say , "nothing". Hon, I know we've already worked this out, but sorry again for taking it out on you and thank you for cleaning the kitchen, and for playing with the girls while i worked, and for being the best dad and husband. :)

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Today I was reminded of a "not so great parenting moment". Aaron and I had lunch with some friends today (That's sounds really glamorous doesn't it? Well, don't let me fool you. We ate lunch in the mall food court and then we let abbey ride on the ninja turtle truck that apparently hasn't seen a cleaning product since 1961.) and we were talking about our girls experience with going to the dentist because abbey had a dentist appointment today. This "not so great parenting moment" came up during the conversation and I realized i had blocked this out of my mind until I was able to laugh at it. I mean, I actually blogged about Ainsley's last visit to the dentist and called it "uneventful". People, it was anything but.

It all started a few weeks after ainsley went to preschool. Things had been going great and then all of the sudden my sweet, compliant, first born angel...

started talking back. I don't mean a little back talk here and there. Picture red eyes, fangs, claws...you get the idea. I would ask her to do something and she would say, "NOOO! I WON'T!!!" or something like that. It was bad enough that I called her teacher and asked if anyone in her class might have taught her to speak like that. Her teacher ,Mrs. K, said no, she had not noticed anyone else doing this at preschool. Not even Ainsley. How special. She saved it just for us.

We try the regular consequences for a few days to no avail. So I talk to Mrs. K who happens to be a good friend and someone i absolutely and completely trust in all things dealing with children. She has two precious daughters, she is a great mom. So I ask her for some advice and, among other things, she mentions washing her mouth out with soap. Now before you go all child protective services on me, let me remind you of all those car trips with no seat belts, whatever that nasty stuff was you put on my thumb to make me stop sucking it, and of course, that night i spent in the garage. By myself. In the dark. Desperate times, people.

So we decide to try washing her mouth out with soap because nothing else is working and this behavior is not ok. We have got to send a message here. FYI: it is easier than ever to wash out a kids mouth with soap. We have that soap that foams up when you pump it out so we just pump it right onto her toothbrush and then "wash" her tongue.

She hated it. No, really. I've never seen her react so violently towards something. It was not pretty.

We tried this method for a few weeks and then decided that maybe it wasn't working and we absolutley felt yucky after a round of Ainsley vs. Mom/Dad/soapcovered toothbrush.

Fast forward a few months. "Washing the mouth out with soap" has been deemed a failure and we no longer speak of it. It's been long enough that I actually forgot that we had done it.

Fast forward to Ainsley's dentist appointment. Everything is going great...the teeth are getting cleaned, x-rays are being taken, tears are not being cried, and then the time comes for flouride. I don't know when the last time you took a kid to the dentist was, but in my day, we had to swish this nasty stuff and then we were told not to swallow it or you would die. FYI: it's easier than ever to give a child a flouride treatment. They just squirt this white foam onto a toothbrush and then brush their teeth with it. Are these people for real?! Where is the death drink?!

The dentist starts coming at ainsley with the foam covered toothbrush and ainsley says in a terrified voice, "I don't want you to wash my mouth out with soap." Our sweet, innocent, dentist who I'm sure has never harmed a creature on God's green earth gives me a bewildered look while reassuring ainsley that these are "happy bubbles".

I looked right back at the dentist and said "I have no idea what she is talking about".

I'm gonna go ahead and assume that lying and throwing my sweet child under the bus in the same breath probably took me out of the running for mom of the year.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Hello, My name is Audrey Loney, and I'm addicted to my computer.

Here it is folks! The long awaited update. I know you have all been on the edge of your seats for this high quality entertainment. Meanwhile, we have been roughing it here at the Loney house. Our power cord had a short or something and stopped working. So we were without a computer for about a week. I am really ashamed to admit this next part, but since it seems this blog's sole purpose is for me to embarass myself, onward I go. I WAS FREAKING OUT AFTER 1 DAY WITHOUT THE COMPUTER!!! Aaron came home at the end of that first day and I think I must have been exhibiting some pretty serious withdrawal symptoms because he took one look at me, locked me in our room with his mac book, and took the girls to sonic. I love him.

Well, the power cord finally arrived and I have missed updating my family and friends. So here is a little recap of the last few weeks to catch you up.

Ainsley's preschool had their annual art show. She was VERY excited about it. She did the snowman on the top row, and the sunflowers right in the middle.

We took advantage of some warm weather one afternoon and we all went to the zoo.

And of course Easter! We spent the weekend in Durant and had a great time seeing family. The girls got to go to their first Kiwanis Easter egg hunt where we practically had to beg them to put the eggs in their baskets. Good times :).

Well, that's about it. Except to give you a little teaser...I recently acquired some pretty good material that will make for a fabulous post. If you were at the Clay house this afternoon at about 3:30 then you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, it'll probably take me a day or two to work it up but stay tuned...it's a doozy.