Goodbye Dignity, Hello Motherhood!

2011-06-16T07:42:00.000-07:00

Before I get into this long awaited post, let me just give you one tip. NEVER let your children go to a birthday party at Chucky Cheese (is that even spelled right?). My girls went to a birthday party there in April and they are still sing Justin Bieber songs. Now, I've got nothing against him. It's possible I may have in a moment of weakness downloaded a song or two of his onto my ipod. I may also have plans to watch Never Say Never. There I said it. BUT, there is just something really wrong with my three year old walking around singing "Baby, Baby, Baby, OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!" For real.

So, there has been a lot going on here. I had surgery, my father in law had open heart surgery, Abbey broke her arm, and almost as traumatic as those things, Abbey decided haircuts all around were the order of the day. Alivia bore the brunt of that little adventure. She basically had a mullet on one side of her head. Correction, HAS, a mullet. I refuse to make a bad situation worse by cutting all of her hair that short. I did giver her a little bob that will make growing it out a little less painful. Maybe. And, just in case you were wondering, all of the patients above have healed or are recovering just fine. :)

One story about my girls before I end this. The girls have been obssessed with what is "in real life" and what is not. It all started with a conversation that abbey had with her bible class teacher. I wish abbey could tell you this story because as she was telling me i could tell by her tone when mimicking the teacher that her poor teacher was having her patience tested :)

Abbey: Mom, I asked my teacher about that story about the little boy dying and she said it was true.
Me: what little boy?
Abbey: Stephen. You know, they threw rocks at him.
Me: Oh, that's right. Tell me about that conversation.
Abbey: Well, I raised my hand and my teacher said, "Yes, Abbey?" And I said, Was Stephen in real life? And my teacher said, "Yes, Abbey." So, I raised my hand AGAIN and my teacher said, "Yes, Abbey??" And I said, Did they really throw rocks at him and kill him? And my teacher said, "Yes, Abbey."
Me: What did you do then?
Abbey: Well, I just sat there and stared at her because I didn't believe it.
Me: It's true abbey. I know it's sad, but it is true.

It was a pretty sad day, because I had to inform them that while the story of Stephen was in real life, unicorns were not. Seems pretty messed up to me. I think things started looking up, though, when I confirmed that Justin Bieber was in real life. I heard whispers of excitement coming from the backseat after that one.

As I type this...

2011-05-09T18:56:00.000-07:00

(about these pictures...i have the hipstamatic app on my iphone. i may need a little practice. can't seem to figure out where the light is going to be. These are pictures of ainsley's recital outfit for ballet.)

My husband is driving his white 2002 altima to Goodwill while dangling a garbage bag containing a dead black bird out of the drivers side window.

Like a week ago, we were out in the back yard when we spotted one of those huge black birds on top of the roof. Aaron ran in to get the bb gun. He came back out, took aim, fired, and to everyone's amazement the bird literally looked up to the heavens and then rolled over the roof towards the front of the house.

Aaron went to destroy the evidence but their was none to be found.

Fast forward to tonight. About 30 minutes before high school bible study starts we both decide we smell death at the front door. Literally. To steal a line from Rapunzel, "It just generally smelled like the color brown." It took us about 30 seconds and one trip up a ladder to confirm that, yes, there was our black bird in the gutter. Fantastic. and gross.

Once removed, the bird CLEARLY could not stay hear until the next trash day (Thursday), which brings us back to aaron's little jaunt to goodwill.

ALSO, I had a wonderful mother's day! I was gifted with some shopping money, a few flowers (which alivia informed me were made of Kleenex), and some beautiful drawings. You may also be interested to know that according to my children, I am 71 years old, 8 feet tall, weigh 5 pounds, and the thing I say the most is "Help me dress up!!!" I should probably be counting my blessings on that last one.

And finally, I'll leave you with a quote from abbey. I texted this to the immediate family so this is old news for ya'll. Aaron took Abbey to the bank the other day and of course she got a sucker. she was telling alivia about her sucker when she got home and alivia wanted to know why she got the sucker. This was abbey's answer which should be read with great annoyance at having to explain the obvious. "ALIVIA, they saw me in the car, they thought I was cute, they got me a present, and the present was a sucker." Hey Abs, don't be so hard on yourself :)

You're only as old as you feel...

2011-05-03T13:02:00.000-07:00

Isn't that a saying? I think it is, and normally I would go look it up and make sure before I post it for the world to see but I'm in kind of a time crunch today.

If it is true, today I feel like I'm about 978. Not 31. Or is it 32? Has anyone read Water for Elephants? When he was talking about not being able to remember you age, I was like, this is the story of my life!!

Anyway, it all started when I went for my laser hair removal appointment, or as we tactfully refer to it around here, "getting my mustache zapped off."

Your welcome :)

So, as if that wasn't humiliating enough, my laser person goes, "Oh, you're really broken out!" Which led to me leaving with a tub of retin A. Not gonna lie. I'm excited about this. I hear it makes your skin look bomb. And I've definitely been thinking between the acne and the "fine lines" i've been spotting I could use a little help.

That stuff is no joke. I'm sitting in the car with the air conditioner blasting in my face chanting..."no pain, no gain! no pain, no gain!"

And then I go to my obgyn today for this pain i've been having in my side and he walks in a says, "I'm tellin ya! You have three babies and everything starts fallin apart!" He's lucky he's cute. He can get away with saying that kind of stuff to me. And stuff like, "You may have a hernia."

Fabulous. Oh, to be 16 again!

Concerning the bunnies...

2011-04-26T18:50:00.000-07:00

They all hopped away out into a beautiful meadow where they will live happily ever after. That's my story and I'm sticking to it because I definitely have a 5 year old who can read and would be crushed if she found that the story ended any differently than that.

HOWEVER, when I told my children this story, Ainsley said in a very exasperated voice, "Mo-om, the Easter bunny would not bring us bunnies just to have them hop away."

Ummmmmmm.......

Also. Aaron and I overheard this conversation tonight between ainsley and abbey in the back seat...

Abbey: " Ainsley, once I got a stomach virus, and it was the first time I had ever thrown up."

Ainsley: "I had a stomach virus too and I threw up 11 times but then I took a bath in the morning and i felt a little bit better."

Abbey: "And that medicine you put in your bottom is CUH-RAZY, cause it just disappears!!"

Our Easter...

2011-04-24T19:27:00.000-07:00

What a day! As I was browsing facebook this evening and seeing everyone's family Easter pictures, I had one thought..."Oh crap. I did not take one single picture of my girls in their easter dresses." So, you'll just have to take my word for it. They had Easter dresses. They were super cute.

So what was I doing this morning instead of taking pictures of my perfectly styled children? Well, Easter morn found me (once again) running around in my back yard in the pink robe and fake uggs. And it's possible I still had the towel turban going. I can't really remember. ( I think I'm having a revelation about why our neighbors keep declining our dinner invitations)

Why, you ask, would I be doing that. Well, let me just tell you. I was standing at the kitchen sink washing my hands, and staring aimlessly out the window, when something caught my eye. At first I thought it was one huge critter. Then I realized it was a bunch of little critters. 6 baby rabbits to be exact.

Every hole in our yard is filled with water with all the rain we have had. So, I'm assuming that their little nest was flooded. I couldn't just leave them all huddled in a pile in the rain so I fixed them a little laundry basket house so they can hopefully stay dry.

The girls are beyond excited about our little Easter blessings and we let them hold one. Here's hoping this turns out better than the bird's nest.

In other Easter news, i went shopping for Easter shoes to go with my Easter dress and came home with these...

Someone save me from myself.

We really did have a great Easter. It was a wonderful day spent with family (I even got to hug my parents for a few seconds :)). We are blessed :)

A story and pictures that have nothing to do with each other :)

2011-04-22T17:38:00.000-07:00

Last night we went to a scholarship dinner. We took the girls. Abbey started the fun with a break down about 30 seconds after we walked in. She recovered in time for the entertainment portion of the evening which was a sweet, sweet family from our church singing a few songs.

Alivia apparently thought someone said karaoke night cause she sang "flower gleam and glow, let your power shine, make the clock reverse..." every time it got quiet. (That's from Tangled for all you who are unschooled in the most recent kids movies) We made it through dinner and I even managed to deny abbey permission to carry her dessert plate to the table on her head, all without a scene.

We ended the evening on a high note with Alivia announcing to every one at our table that she tooted. Numerous times.

And then a sweet, old lady said, "What lovely children you have!" Actually she said that before the karaoke and the tooting. So, maybe given the chance, she might have taken it back.

The bird update :(

2011-04-21T10:40:00.000-07:00

Well, it's not good news. I thought things were going great. The parents were sitting on the nest, the eggs were looking good, mom and dad bird got used to us being around and wouldn't even fly away when we came near them. And then something happened...I'm not sure what. It could have been the youth group coming over. Bless their hearts. It was like the paparazzi outside a rehab center. what with all the yelling, and picture taking, and trying to get close. I can't blame them. It was pretty cool being that close to a bird sitting on a nest. I may have also taken a few pictures. But I did not yell. I had to keep some sense of decorum.

Anyway, after that incident, the birds were spooked pretty easily and would fly away. And it probably didn't help that we were using a table saw about 15 feet from the nest either. But, aside from the spooking easily, things seemed fine. And then I went outside one morning and mom bird was gone as well as one egg. I searched high and low and could not find the egg. A few days passed and the bird parents did not return. And then the second egg disappeared. And honestly, I was trying REALLY hard not to think about what type of critter could have gotten up there and taken those eggs. Until a few days ago when Abbey and Alivia were practically tearing the blinds down to get a better look a the "black squirrel" that was walking across our yard.

I'm sorry, what??!! Black squirrel? Sounds like a skunk to me folks. So I'm mentally preparing myself for my first real "kill" to be a skunk, now that I have a gun and everything. Except that the skunk is going to have to come into the back yard for me to shoot him. Because I am not going to camp out in the front yard with my bb gun. I have neighbors. They think I'm normal. They do not know (i hope) that yesterday I was in my backyard in a super fluffy bright pink robe and target uggs perfecting my bb gun shot on a my little pony and a piece of sidewalk chalk.

I'll leave you with a picture that I took of ainsley a few days ago. I love it because it is totally her. I have a really hard time capturing natural pictures of her. She really likes to fake smile. No faking here :) She is just having a good time :)

Just doin' what we do...

2011-04-20T07:13:00.000-07:00

So Aaron and I had some unexpected alone time on Sunday. His parents took the girls home from church leaving us with the whole afternoon to ourselves. So we did what any 31 year old couple would do and went straight to Academy and bought a BB gun. I believe my exact words when aaron asked me what I wanted to do were, "I need to shoot something." It's been a long couple of weeks friends.

After some debate on which gun to buy (aaron wanted the gun that looked like a machine gun and I wanted the pink one) we compromised and came home with a fab little weapon that is not pink nor does it resemble a machine gun.

We set up our target and went for it.

After a while we got bored with the target and decided we needed to raise the stakes a little.

Bless her heart. See that wood splintered right above her head? That was my first shot...deadly accurate people. She had no idea what was about to happen to her. It was Aaron that finally brought home the bacon, so to speak.

You can see where he hit her right on her booty and knocked her off the fence. You will all be glad to know that she is back at home in the sand box no worse for the wear :)

The answer to my question and a small rant...

2011-04-07T13:00:00.000-07:00

We have a answer! My sweet cousin Kim at Wallace Family was kind enough do some research. Here is what she found...

"I have wondered too! SO, I did a quick interent search and apparently you are to respond individually to the person (via email usually). Since I personally know all the commenters on my blog, that is not a problem. If you have random commenters, you have to click on their blog/profile and find their email (which sounds like a big pain to me). At this point I get 0-4 comments-usually 0-per post, so this doesn't seem like a hard task to accomplish! :)" -Kim

AGAIN!!! I can't get out of italics!!!! Blast. Anywho...thank you Kim :) Now we can all be polite bloggers...at least when it comes to responding to comments. I have a feeling this is just a drop in the bucket people. And just to get it out there...I am not good friends with Mrs. Manners. I think my mom still is a little worried about showing her face in public because it's possible that I did not finish my graduation thank you notes. Or my wedding thank you notes. Or my baby shower thank you notes. And while I'm on the subject...graduations and weddings are one thing. But honestly, could there possibly be a worse time to have to write and send thank you notes than when you have birthed a child. Let me just tell you. No. There could not. Having said that, I also need to be fair and say that my life has been furnished by showers and our Lord in heaven. So, I am absolutely grateful for all those things. I honestly just wish my face to face "thank you so much" at the shower was sufficient.

Those Scurvy Rabbits!!!!!

2011-04-07T09:21:00.000-07:00

I don't even know. But that is what Ainsley said as we were looking at the damage done to our sad little garden. I took the following picture AFTER we put the little fence up around the garden. He was just sitting their, looking at the garden, all fat and happy with strawberries and green peppers in his stomach, wondering where his next meal will come from.

No doubt it will come from the flowers I just planted in the front yard.

My family has a long standing feud going on with wild animals. Sometime i will have to tell you about 1. the bird in my house 2. the racoons that threw a brick on my dads car 3. the armadillo that ran around my parents neighborhood with a rake impaled in his back and 4. the mouse that me, aaron, and my mom tried to catch in my parents kitchen. I will go ahead and tell you now that my sole contribution to the mouse episode was standing on the kitchen table and screaming like a little girl.

Blogging question....

2011-04-06T19:10:00.000-07:00

Apparently, there is blogging etiquette. Who knew? Clearly not me. I generally don't concern myself with it because this is a pretty small operation I'm running here. I do wonder this...When someone comments on your blog, do you comment back right under their comment on your own blog? FYI: If you have left a comment that you feel needed a reply, that is what I have been doing.

Totally unrelated:

We have a bird of some sort that has taken up residence on our front porch. I think it is a dove. I'm pretty much obsessed with it. Momma has laid two eggs and she and daddy sit on them ALL day. I can't wait for them to hatch! Potential names that have been discussed for all members of the bird family....aaron, siley, rapunzel, and flynn. I will keep you updated on all fronts.

I'm like the Golden Corral of the blogging world...

2011-04-04T19:39:00.000-07:00

I've got a little bit of everything tonight and none of it is that great. I know, I know. I'll be here all night :)

First...I have just barely dipped my toe into the waters of homeschooling. One of my biggest fears since deciding to homeschool has been that I will be responsible for teaching abbey and alivia to read. That is serious. I mean, if you don't get that right, you are up a creek without a paddle. Ainsley learned to read in Kindergarten. I have wondered if I could get away with sending them all to Kindergarten so that they could learn to read with the help of a reading expert. And then I could take over. But Abbey had a different plan. She has been driving me crazy (in a good way) with questions like, "How do you spell..............What sound does this make.......what does this word start with...what does t, h, e, spell,....and my all time favorite, "You tell me what this book says and then I will read it."

So, what the heck. She's ready, I've got a book. Let's see what happens. And she is doing AWESOME!!! We have really been working on it for a couple of weeks and she is able to read some very beginner level books. In case you are curious...this is what I am using and what I think about it...

"Teach Your Child to Read In 100 Easy Lessons" - I know a
few people who have used this book and really like it. I think it is pretty popular right now. It is phonics based,lessons are about 15 minutes long, and it is scripted out. Like, tells you EXACTLY what to say. For someone who was nervous about this endeavor, that was a good thing. However, I tried using this book with abbey a few months ago and followed it word for word, and it was BRUTAL. She was bored, I was bored, and there is this rhyming section in each lesson that I just never got the hang of. And I had every word I was supposed to say right in front of my face. So, I put reading lessons on hold. Then when she started showing interest again we got it back out. I'm doing it totally different now. I don't stick to the script. In fact, we can usually do 2 lessons in the time it was taking to do one. That is due to the fact that we skip a lot of stuff. Like the rhyming game that neither one of us understood, and the writing section, and anything else that gets to repetitive. I use it as a guide as to which letter to introduce next, I love their method of sounding things out, and I like the way they teach the rules.

The other book in the picture (Reading Skills) is just your basic letter recognition, and letter sound workbook. But Abbey LOVES to color and it has a lot of coloring pages in it. So that is my way of giving her a little bit of a reward at the end of a lesson. She gets to color, but it is also reinforcing a letter or sound we just worked on.

And finally, the Bob books. I love these. They were recommended in "The Well Trained Mind" and they are great. I love them because they are about as simple as you can get but they are still in book form. We are talking one word sentences. Mat. Mat sat. Cat. Cat sat. Cat sat on Mat. You get the idea. But Abbey loves them.

Second...

Every monday night we host a high school bible study at our house. One of my friends brings her kids to the bible study and then she watches my kids so that I can sit in the bible study. They usually just hang out in our room and watch a movie. Well, tonight was no different. They were watching Tangled. Ainsley is a little bit afraid of a few parts in that movie. I had warned my friend, C, that Ainsley might leave the room or act scared. After bible study, I asked how it went. C said, "They did great! But Ainsley was going in your shower during the scary parts." Well, that in itself was funny enough, but then I walked by the shower and saw this....

That my friends, is The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Just a little light reading while she waits for the scary part to be over in Rapunzel.

Third...

The girls had their annual art show at preschool. They always decorate cookies for the parents. But who are we kidding? I was lucky to get these pictures before the girls inhaled them :)

Hope everyone had a great Monday! :)

"Oh what a beautiful morning..."

2011-03-30T11:43:00.000-07:00

Oh what a beautiful day...

I've got a beautiful feeling....

E...........V..............E..........R.........Y..........T...........H...........I..........N..........G..........S........

Goooooin' myyyyyy waaayyyy :)

We do this EVERY morning. For real. And I just can't bring myself to let natural consequences have their way with her. I mean, can't you just hear that conversation? " Oh Dr. Fox, she hates to brush her teeth so, you know, we don't make her. I figure she'll learn her lesson when her teeth rot out of her head." Remember this? I'm on thin ice with them already!

And it appears that I am the proud grandmother of 3 newly hatched plastic bunnies. And I really need to get over myself and use "auto" on my camera. These blurry faces are starting to freak me out.

I wasn't going to post tonight...

2011-03-27T19:15:00.000-07:00

but when the mood strikes, I suppose I should take advantage of it :)

After church, i was sitting in the van with the girls waiting for aaron to come meet us. (Aaron later told me that he was trying to call me so he could say, "I'm in the van...where are you and the girls." Which for sure would have made me have an anxiety attack thinking I might be mistaken as a car thief. BUT, my phone was dead so he didn't get to play his little joke. See what I have to put up with?! JUST KIDDING! LOVE HIM!)

Anyway, we were sitting in the van and I decided to talk to the girls about what they learned in bible class and maybe reinforce what they learned or talk some more about it. So I say, "What did you girls talk about in class today?"

Ainsley: "I can't remember."
Abbey: "I don't want to talk to you about it."
Alivia: "Snack."

So glad I asked. :)

Also, of note, my cousin Kim, is doing a 30 day photo challenge and I think it looks like fun. So, I'm gonna give it a try. Although, I must say, the first photo is a self portrait...not looking forward to that one. Now, this is the place where I would direct you to Kim's blog by typing "go here" to see Kim's super cute blog and the word "here" would light up and do a dance and you could click on it. But I do not have the first idea as to how one would make that work. Sooo, if you want to check our her blog, look over there -------------------> and click on Wallace Family.

Have a good Monday everyone!

Sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches...

2011-03-26T19:31:00.000-07:00

Day 4 of things not going the way i thought they would is mercifully coming to a close. Let me just give you a little run down...

Wednesday: Decided I needed a manicure. And by manicure I mean the free kind...done by yours truly. So, I took the fingernail polish off of my fingernails and then got distracted.

Thursday: I trimmed the fingernails on my right hand while standing in Aaron's office and then had to leave to go pick up the girls from preschool.

Friday: Friday began a two day mission to get some work finished on the house. We worked ALL day. And went to lowes about 345 times. And somehow we managed to take two steps backwards.
Friday night I made dinner...spaghetti and asparagus. Not thinking I could handle the tears when Abbey saw something unfamiliar on her plate, I straight up bribed the kids. THIS, I might add, worked like a charm. I told them if they ate their asparagus, I would take them to get ice cream. They totally fell for it. Ainsley even actually liked it.

I think it was at this point that I stole one of grampa's sayings and told the girls the asparagus would put hair on their chests. Then Aaron raised his shirt and said, "See?" The girls were impressed. I won't go into too many details but the conversation ended with Alivia saying, "See, I have two niffles (nipples)." Quality.

So then i take the girls to Braums for their ice cream and for the life of me I can not order 2 single dips of vanilla in cups. It came out "2 dips of vanilla in a cup." I knew that wasn't right, so I start trying to explain what I really mean and the best thing I can come up with is "Ok, that sounded like 1 thing".....(at this point, i just stared helplessly at the drive thru speaker begging her to read my mind).............................Finally, she says, "Oh, you mean 2 single dips in a cup." Me, "YES! YES! THANK YOU! THAT is what i meant."

Saturday: Day 2 of working on the house. But first, I trimmed the nails on my left hand. Manicure complete. That only took 3 days. Also, the girls wanted me to curl their hair. Which I did. And I also took pictures.

Oh, and did I mention, I was trying to learn how to use my camera in the "oh so professional" manual mode? I don't think I need to tell you how that's going. But in case your not sure, I recommend asking Smurfette or the girl without a face.

After 34 more trips to lowes, we where ready to start working on the house again. But not before I got some lunch from Braums. That's right. I went back for more. Here's how it went down this time.

Me:" I'll have a number 12 with a chocolate shake and a medium strawberry freeze."

Drive thru lady: "Ok, a number 12 with a Dr. Pepper and a chocolate shake. And do you want any sausage with that?" (fyi: number 12 is chicken strips...in hind sight she probably said "sauces", but you know what they say about hind sight)

Me: "....ummmmmmmm.....no......."

Finally, made it back home with a number 12, a dr. pepper and a medium strawberry freeze. Then we spent the rest of our day working on the house. If you walked in my house right now, you would think that the result of two days of work was 1 roman shade being hung in the kitchen. That's right friends...It looks like it took us two days to put 4 screws in the wall.

So, I think that just about sums it up! In spite of all the hiccups, we've had a great couple of days getting to spend time together. Looking forward to more of the same tomorrow :)

I got new stuff...

2011-03-23T19:58:00.000-07:00

...new computer, new photoshop, new camera. Now, before I sound ungrateful, I'm not :) I'm so so blessed to be able to have these new things. BUT, all my new things overwhelming me! I need to learn how to use them all and I was just getting really good at using my old stuff. And I have been thinking for a few days that I need to post about my super exciting life. with pictures. Which means having it out with my new camera and new computer. People, I do not have the brain power for that. I don't even know where they are on this computer. Hang on...I'm going to see if I can find something...

Well, how about that. If you're bored, you should totally zoom in on my face. It will make you laugh. Just in case my outfit didn't. I was doing an "under dog".

Here are a few more pics of the last couple of months...Ainsley lost tooth number two.

Aaron took the girls to a father/daughter banquet.
This would be the beginning of the glitter explosion i referred to in an earlier post.

We have been really busy, but having a great time :) Over spring break we went to durant and spent time with my family, my beautiful cousin got married so we got to spend some fun time with more family, we planted a garden, and I've started working out with Jillian Michaels. Which could explain my lack of enthusiasm for blogging, figuring our my new camera and computer, and anything else that requires an ounce of energy. She is kicking the crap out of me. I WILL NOT be posting pictures of that. Although, now that I think about it, a home video of me doing a workout video, would probably be hysterical enough to go viral and make me rich. Hmmm....

I think it may finally be happening...

2011-03-11T09:34:00.000-08:00

Potty training that is. With Ainsley and Abbey I started at about 18 months because I was sure they were showing the signs of being ready. I then proceeded to potty train for the next year. After making the same mistake twice, I PROMISED myself and any one who would listen that the day Alivia walked up to the toilet, did her business, and walked away clean, THAT would be the day I would start potty training. In fact, back in August, I had to fill out a form for her preschool. The question said "Describe where you are on potty training." I wrote, "Avoiding it like the plague."

And she has had zero interest in the potty until the last few days. All of a sudden she wants to use the potty. We will see. After 5 years, I may not be buying diapers for much longer. That is just crazy.

Also, I posted a while back on our guest bathroom. I had plans to paint it pink. I tried it. I didn't like it. It was reading more like Barbie's dream house. Not really what I had in mind. I'm a little disappointed cause I wanted something kind of crazy. So I have a new plan that is in progress. It's not so much crazy but very pretty and I love it. I'll post pictures when its done :)

We will be spending most of spring break in Norman/Durant seeing my family. YAY!!! AND, I should have a new computer waiting for me when we get back which means PICTURES! YAY!! Not sure if I will be posting over spring break, so I hope everyone has a great week :)

Audrey :)

Ascetic - a person who abstains from the normal pleasures of life...

2011-03-09T18:31:00.000-08:00

I put that definition up there because when aaron asked me to read this passage i'm going to share with you, "the ascetic" was the title and I had no idea what it meant. Not off to a good start. So, I put it up there just in case anyone else didn't know :)

First, let us consider the ascetic movement, God's "no" in Jesus. Jesus' words are brief and stark: If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me (8:34). The ascetic life deals with life on the road with Jesus to his death.

Two verbs leap up from the sentence and pounce on us: deny yourself and take up your cross. Renunciation and death. It feels like an assault, an attack. We recoil.

But then we notice that these two negatives are bracketed by the positive verb, "follow," first as an infinitive, then as an imperative. "If anyone wants to follow" opens the sentence; "you follow me" concludes it. Jesus is going someplace; he invites us to come along. There is no hostility in that. It sounds, in fact, quite glorious. So glorious, in fact, that the great verb "follow: sheds glory on the negative verbs that call for renunciation and death.

There is always a strong ascetic element in salvation. Following Jesus means not following the death-procrastinating, death-denying practices of a culture that by obsessively pursuing life under the aegis of idols and ideologies ends up with a life that is so constricted and diminished that it is hardly worthy of the name.

Grammatically, the negative, our capacity to say "no", is one of the most impressive features of our language. The negative is our access to freedom. Only humans can say "no." Animals can't say "no." Animals do what instinct dictates or what training embeds in them. "No" is a freedom word. I don't have to do what either my glands or my culture tells me to do. The judicious, well-placed "no" frees us from careening down many a blind alley, from bushwacking through many a rough detour, frees us from debilitating distractions and seductive sacrilege. The art of saying "no" sets us free to follow Jesus.

If we adhere carefully to St. Mark's test, we will never associate the ascetic with the life-denying. Ascetic practice sweeps out the clutter of the god-pretentious self, making ample space for access to Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; it embraces and prepares for a kind of death that the culture knows nothing about, making room for the dance of resurrection. Whenever we are around someone who is doing this well, we notice the lightness of step, the nimbleness of spirit, the quickness to laughter. H.C.G. Moule wrote that these dominical negatives "may have to carve deep lines in heart and life; but the chisel need never deface the brightness of the material."

From Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places by Eugene H. Peterson

I don't know about you but I want to be someone who has a "lightness of step, nimbleness of spirit, and quickness to laughter." For the next 40 days, I'm saying "no" to staying up late. Seems simple and inconsequential but let me tell you where God wants to work in this. He wants to give me the freedom to give my spirit a break from the crap that comes on tv after 10. He wants to give me the freedom to give my body the rest that it needs. He wants to give me the freedom to be at my best for my family when I wake up in the morning. And most importantly to grow my relationship with Him.

What about you? Is there something you have been saying "yes" to that is enslaving you? Give it up friend and enjoy the freedom that God has for you :)

I think I just offered an invitation. So, on that note, I'll wrap this up :) I'm just so glad that we serve a God who wants the best for us. Grateful that even when His people feebly attempt to sacrifice, He turns it around and blesses us. Amazing.

If you buy your maple syrup at the store...

2011-03-08T17:40:00.000-08:00

STOP IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!! I am here to tell you that once you make my Mema's maple syrup you will never go back to store bought. Never. Nev-ver. Here it is...

2 cups sugar

1 cup water

1/2 tsp maple flavoring

Put it in a sauce pan on high and take it off as soon as it boils. And consider your life changed.

Our family of 5 can usually take that whole amount down when we have pancakes. If you have left over or just want to have some on hand you can store it in rubbermaid thingy with a lid.

Soo good and sooo easy.

And I can't leave without one story about Ainsley today. She just keeps supplying me with good material. I was getting her ready for bed tonight and I told her as soon as she got ready she could read a book in bed. She looks at me with wide eyes, grabs my cheeks, and says "MY ONLY ESCAPE!" Apparently it is a tortured life she leads.

And finally, get your boots out cause I'm considering a post on Lent and it's gonna be deep. Well, deep for me. Considering I'm usually on the verge of falling into the proverbial gutter.

Alright, now go make some syrup :)

I PROMISE we talk about things besides reproduction...

2011-03-06T20:17:00.000-08:00

but, while we are on that subject, I have to share with you Ainsley's take on how you know the sex of a baby.

We were saying our prayer tonight before the girls went to bed. We had asked what they wanted to pray for. We do that because we have found that if we don't, they tend to thank God for everything in sight, twice, in an attempt to stay up late.

So, Aaron mentioned that some friends of ours are expecting a baby and that we should pray for them. We started discussing if it was a boy or a girl. Aaron talked about how they do an ultrasound to determine the sex. Ainsley asked "Well, how do they know if its a boy or a girl?" For some reason, I decided this was a good time to establish what distinguishes boys from girls so I said, "Well, Ainsley, how do we know that you are a girl?"

She replies, "Well.....I have long hair.....and I've already popped out."

OK, yes, but God also made boys and girls different and we proceed to talk about different body parts (ifyouknowwhatimeanandithinkyoudo). To which she replies, "well that's clever."

Side comment from Aaron: Yes it is!

-------------

Also, I went to wal-mart tonight to get a few things and as I was racing past the toiletries section, some loud talking caught my attention. I glanced over just in time to see a guy grab a can of spray deodorant off of the shelf, turn to walk away with his wife, take the lid off of the deodorant, raise up his shirt, and apply the deodorant leaving a massive right guard fog in his wake. Really? That couldn't have waited until you got to the car? On the other hand, if I cared that little about what other people thought about me, I would probably have a whole lot less stress in my life :) Maybe I'll try that next time I'm in Walmart.

Don't take the early years for granted...

2011-03-03T18:14:00.000-08:00

Chapter 1

For a lot of reasons really. But the reason I'm thinking of tonight is that small window of time when they are oblivious to the world around them. When they are about 0-3 you can get away with things like buying their birthday/christmas presents while they are with you. Or even better, you can eat/drink in front of them with out having to either a)share or b)buy EVERYONE something to eat or c)say I'm the mom and i need this to survive and then listen to everyone cry. And best of all, they don't ask why that person has to drive a cart around walmart when you are 6 inches away from said person.

Aaron and I were reminded last night that we definitely have two children who have surpassed this blessed stage. We were on our way home from church when it happened. We pulled up to a stop light and were stopped behind another van. The instant I saw the movie playing inside their van, I knew we were in trouble. I was just thinking, maybe they won't see it, when Ainsley goes, "HEY! They have a tv in their car!!!!!"

Aaron and I glance at each other. I mutter, "The dream is dead."

Ainsley says, "Can WE get a tv in OUR car?!!"

Well, at this point we both proceeded to hem and haw about money, and maybe our next car, and something about driving this van until alivia is 95. It really was a fine display of parenting.

Fortunately, she has not outgrown taking our word for it, so the discussion was pretty much over. That was a close one.

Chapter 2

(These things really have nothing to do with each other (besides all involving ainsley) but I had three different stories I needed to tell and I needed a transition. Bear with me here.)

So, chapter 2. Today we were on our way home from school when Ainsley says, "Mom, you know how some people have their chins and lips pierced? Well, like, I have a friend in my class at school who has her chin pierced but that will just be our secret. Ok?"

Hold. The. Phone. Then I did what any good mother would do and I assaulted her with questions. Where have you seen this? Who do you know that has one? Who is your friend? Did you see the hole? I think she was telling you a story. And why are we keeping this a secret?! Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against a good piercing...AS LONG AS YOU AREN'T IN KINDERGARTEN! forevermore.

Chapter 3

You will all be glad to know that I may have coming one step closer to solving the age old mystery of why Ainsley does not want to get married.

After her bath tonight, she was standing in the kitchen, naked, pushing the vacuum cleaner around when she said, "Mom, I don't want kids."

Me: "What?"

Ainsley: "I don't want kids, I don't want to get married, I don't want to go to the hospital."

After connecting the dots of marriage = kids=hospital, I said, "Oh, Ains, You can get married and not have kids."

Unconvinced, she goes on to tell me something about the movie "UP" and how apparently all of her decisions about married life and children up to this point are being based on this movie. Again, I attempt to convince her that marriage doesn't have to equal kids and before I know it I have said the word "birth control" to my 5 year old. Lord help me.

Something I said must have clicked because she ended the conversation with "Well, I DO want to have ONE kid, and then I can boss them around."

So glad I helped her change her mind about that :)

Four by Four and What I did today...

2011-03-01T18:32:00.000-08:00

I was tagged by my Siasta in this four by four game. I don't really know if anyone reads this besides family, so if you read this on my blog...consider yourself tagged :)

4 places I go:

Walmart

Church

Walmart

My pediatricians office

4 smells I like:

freshly mowed grass

icy hot...totally takes me back to highschool sports (aka the glory days)

campfire

my parents house

4 shows I like:

House

The bachelor/bachelorette

Modern Family

Greys

4 recommendations:

hhhhmmmmmm.....

spend the $$$$$ on good sheets

paint it whatever color YOU want

do a beth moore bible study

read the book Hearing God by Dallas Willard

Now that you have been enlightened ...on to the 'what I did today" part of this post.

So, our life insurance expired (as does my drivers license this month. can you say pain in the rear?) Anywho, life insurance. Expired. We got new stuff. And by "we", we all know that I mean Aaron, got us knew life insurance and of course we had to go get labs done so they could make sure we weren't about to kick it. So, I go to this appointment today and I had to leave a urine sample...

We head to the bathroom so I can pee in a cup.

She proceeds to come into the bathroom with me ( which I'm sure she is required to do). Not like in the stall but def right outside it. She tells me she just needs a little bit and do I think I can do it?

Me: "Oh yeah."

I go in the stall and we wait. and wait. and wait. I would have paid a cricket to chirp. I could not squeeze out a drop.

Of course it only gets more awkward the longer it takes so of course i feel the need to break the silence and speak to this person I've known for a total of 5 minutes and I say

"I didn't think I would have this much trouble"

She says "Do you want me to turn the water on? Sometimes that helps."

I agree that that might help and then i start praying to God that he will help me out here. He did and it was just enough people. And of course I felt the need share my success with my new friend. "It's working!"

I really hope she gets paid alot to do her job.

Because I have custody of the computer, and can't think of anything to say...

2011-02-25T16:44:00.000-08:00

I will share this little tidbit that I found in my drafts. Why, you ask was it in my drafts? Well, I think my husband is hilarious and sometimes we have conversations like the following that I just feel were wasted on just me and him and said conversations deserve a much bigger audience. And so I typed it up real quick like so I wouldn't forget it knowing I would need something to share with my friends one day.

(aaron is starting a fire in the fireplace and I hear a louder than usual whoosh of the gas catching.)

Aaron: Whoa.
Me: Do you still have your eyebrows?
Aaron: Not sure. But if I don't you won't have to pluck them anymore
Me: Well, there you go.
Aaron: Hey, that's what I call the silver lining baby.

I'm still here...

2011-02-23T19:35:00.000-08:00

And while things have been rather uneventful here, the real reason I haven't been posting (because I know you are all wondering) is the computer issue. It is still not working. I'm actually typing this as fast as I can while aaron is in the bathroom because he really needs to be paying bills on this thing. But, I didn't want my faithful followers to thing I had forgotten about them. So, here is a quick update on what's going on around here.

ainsley lost her second tooth. the "tooth fairy" forgot and was awakened to "Mom! the tooth fairy didn't come and I was so excited about it."
alivia turned three and we took that as our cue to throw away the paci. First day back to preschool sans paci, I asked how school was. Alivia says "I miss my paci at school mama." As a side note, I think she is in the anger stage of paci loss. I tried to give her a teddy, and her blanket to day at naptime. Not only did she refuse the comfort objects, she also refused the nap thank you very much.
I was asked by a girl at ainsley's school if I was 7'7. Actually it was less of a question and more of a statement with a whole lot of I know you are 7 feet and 7 inches tall but I'll say it in the form of a question just so i don't sound presumptuous behind it.
I finished a book by Lee Smith called On Agate Hill (or something like that) and it was so good. I highly recommend it. It was funny in some parts and sad in others. On of my favorite quotes from the book went something like this "There is a baby Jesus and an adult Jesus. Personally, I prefer the baby Jesus because the adult Jesus "has his eye on the sparrow and I know he watcheth me." I'm pickin up what your puttin down sister.

Well, unfortunately (or fortunately, cause this post is going nowhere fast) "we" need to go pay bills. And by "we" I definitely mean Aaron.

RIP

2011-02-10T19:21:00.000-08:00

My computer, that is. She's been through alot. Dropped numerous times, stood on, pieces have fallen off and out. She finally told me yesterday that her hard drive was failing. Sooooo....because i'm a tight wad, I will not be getting a new one. I will just be using Aaron's mac. Which means learning new things. Which means I am not excited. I am excited about not spending $700 on a new computer. I pretty much feel like, if I am going to spend $700 dollars on something, I am paying for the ability to tell said thing when I am done with it, and not the opposite.

I have not figured out how to upload my pictures onto his computer yet. Which means you don't get to see the glitter explosion that happened at our house today. Don't worry though, I WILL figure it out.

We are still out of school. I am still enjoying it :) I think everything should be back to normal on Monday.

Have a good evening!

Audrey :)

Sometimes I just need to laugh...

2011-02-07T18:05:00.000-08:00

Like when school is cancelled for the 5th day in a row and more snow is predicted for tonight. Really, I'm loving having the girls home, but I am missing my tuesdays when all the girls are in school and I can go to the store and such on my own. We did venture out to the store yesterday. At the top of our list were milk and a snow shovel. No luck on the snow shovel, but praise God we did find milk. Interesting fact: 16 year old check out boys at target do not understand how important milk is and if you attempt to explain your desperation they may look at you like you are crazy and mutter something like "ummm,idunno,idon'tevergobackthere."

Anyway,

this video is just what the doctor ordered. A few disclaimers...1) some of the kids in our youth group told us about this so I blame them. 2) We were so entertained by Tracy that we watched some of her other videos. I do believe this particular video was her peak. 3) There are many things in the video that are funny, but the thing I will take from it and apply to my everyday life is this: I will no longer call my lips, lips. From this day forward they are "my crusty-crusts."

Enjoy :)

My favorite things Monday...

2011-02-06T19:40:00.000-08:00

I'm excited to be joining a linky party! I found this blog through my sister's blog. Abby at Graduate "Extraordinaire" is having a "My favorite things Monday" linky party.

So, onward!

Sometimes I just need a little something to make me feel like I haven't gone so far down the "mom style" road I'll never make it back. Honestly, I often walk out of the house and think, This is EXACTLY what Clinton and Stacy make fun of people for wearing out of the house! I really hope no one in my family has contacted them! Oh wait, I forgot. My fingernails are painted black. I got this.

See? Who cares if I had on a bass pro shop ball cap, my husbands xl fleece, leggings, and my target "uggs" (oh yes I did). I had my fingernails painted black. You can't argue with black fingernail polish people.

So here it is...my secret weapon...able to transform bad style and blah moods in a single coat (well maybe two, but you know what I mean).

It's OPI Lincoln Park After Dark. It looks brownish in this picture but it is actually dark, dark purple. It makes me feel edgy...kind of like a rock star...even though I'm really not. And my man loves it :)

Take it from my good friend Kim...

And here are a few more of my friends who love black polish...

ALL the cool girls are doing it! And remember what your mother told you, "If everyone jumped off of a cliff"...wait a second. Really, though, this is a completely harmless and fun bandwagon to jump on girls. Everyone have a great Monday :)

Audrey

Slow and Steady Wins the Race...

2011-02-05T08:22:00.000-08:00

Right? That's what I keep telling myself when it comes to remodeling our house. We started this about 4 years ago. Our house was not in desperate need of remodeling. In fact, we built it and picked out almost everything in it about 9 years ago. As a matter of fact, in what has to be a record setting design feat, I picked out every fixture, color, and finish in less than one day. This was our first home, so I really hadn't even had a chance to play around and figure out what I really liked as far as my style. So at the end of the decision making marathon, the result was a whole lot of neutral, and a kitchen that looked a lot like one of my friends. I followed the design of her kitchen not so much because I felt like it was my style, but because it was a warm comfortable kitchen and she was a good friend and I wanted to feel that in my kitchen.

After a few years in our house, I discovered southern living, country living, cottage living, house beautiful, design blogs, etc. I would just devour all of it. Tearing out magazine pages, saving pictures in folders on my computer that I loved, until I finally figured out that my house was not me at all. I also realized, that there were some things about the design of our house that didn't work for me. Like how crowded or kitchen and living room always felt.

I immediately wanted to do something about it. I started in the kitchen. Budget was a huge concern...My husband is a youth minister, I am a stay at home mom, and we have three kiddos. We are blessed beyond measure BUT we did not have thousands lying around for contractors and such. I was a little discouraged because my husband and I were NOT handy. The most we had ever done in the way of home repair was change a light bulb. Fear cost us a lot of money and kept us from even considering figuring things out on our own. I actually paid a plumber $90 to change a washer in a leaky faucet.

That really irritated me. I mean really. I could have done that on my own for like five bucks saved myself $85.

Sooooo...after much encouragement from all the mommy diy bloggers, and an outrageous amount of research, I started pulling down the wall paper in the kitchen. After that, it was katy bar the door!!!

It was slow going though. We really had no budget and with three little ones running around, we would just squeeze projects in where we could. Here are some "in between" pictures. Our kitchen looked like this for a couple of years!!!! It really makes us appreciate the work and the end result!
This was the second major step. First the wall paper went. Then we painted the dark cabinets white. A HUGE step in making the kitchen bigger and brighter.The kitchen with the wall paper removed and the desk and book shelf ripped out. Those two things really just contributed to the clutter and crowdedness.

In this picture, I was thinking open shelving...that eventually started to bother me, so I just got the doors back out and put them on. The island...i was looking for a pop of color and a country feel. I decided it was too much of both.

Now, we had pulled up the linoleum, because we had taken out a built in desk and book shelf that never got used and there was a big hole in the flooring. I knew I eventually wanted tile or wood so we just pulled it all up. We had to scrape the adhesive off the floor. Hardest work I have ever done. Then, as a temporary solution, I painted the floor. I had read where lots of people have done this. It did not work for us. At all. It was tacky and gross. And I had to scrape that off the floor when we finally had the tile.

I saved money a made from cutting hair and we reserved a large chunk of our tax return and we finally have an (almost) finished kitchen that is truly me and fits my family's needs.
I wanted it to feel bigger and brighter. In the old kitchen, while the colors were warm, it felt to cluttered and dark. Also with the island and dining table, there was just not a lot of room to move. For a long time, I wanted to take out the island and put in a huge dining table. I was scared though because I knew that islands were a big selling point. On all the hgtv shows, islands are a big deal! But it just wasn't working for me. And we have to live here. That was my first step towards decorating my house for me and my family and not for "them". And boy do we love it! This is exactly what I wanted my kitchen to be used for...a place for fun:

We took out the island, we built that table (probably our proudest moment :))...the only thing we didn't do ourselves in the kitchen was have the walls sprayed with texture. We tiled, painted, demoed, all of it.

The biggest thing left to do in the kitchen, is move some lighting around. I want a chandelier over the table. I can't wait to do it!

So back to the title of this post...Slow has been the theme of this renovation. If you are one of my 14 followers ;) and you get discouraged because your friend had new cabinetry, carrera marble counter tops, and hardwood floors installed in her kitchen over the weekend and that leaves you feeling a little frustrated, maybe even envious...know that I have been there too. It took us 3 years to "update" our kitchen and I still have my old cabinets and my laminate countertop. BUT, the blessings that have come from our experience have been numerous. We have no debt due to our renovations, we have acquired new skills and gained confidence, and aaron and I have had tons of fun working together in that kitchen. You can't buy those memories people!

snow day #10394586

2011-02-04T20:20:00.000-08:00

For real. It is starting to feel that way. I have not left this house since Monday. I have highlighted my hair, cut aaron's hair, crocheted three hats, cooked, done laundry, and thought about what i might do if I actually got the chance to get out. Our neighbors have a truck and have been able to get out a few times. They called last night to see if they could get us anything. Aaron and I had to think about it for about half a second. Really, we didn't have to think about it at all. A coke and a dr pepper...STAT. I was expecting a single serving but when they walked in the door with 4 2 liters, you might could've heard me and aaron singing the Hallelujah chorus throughout the neighborhood.

It snowed here again for most of the day today...

Here is one of the hats I crocheted...

Let me just tell you a few things about my crocheting skills. 1) I crocheted scarves for my mom and sisters for Christmas. Beth did not believe I had done it. I think mom actually had to tell Beth that she had witnessed me doing it. 2) My first attempt at this hat yielded a hat that my entire family could have worn at the same time.

I made this chicken pot pie for dinner last night.

Partly because I was bored, and partly because about 1% of me thought it might actually fool the girls into trying it, I put those gingerbread men on top. Abbey was quick to point out that 1) gingerbread men are for Christmas, which it is not. And 2) The gingerbread men are great but I am only eating that if I like what's under there. I REALLY hope she is this hard to fool when she is old enough to date.

It always seems to come back to this...

2011-02-02T14:36:00.000-08:00

and by this, I mean, poop. Stick with me and you will see what I mean. You may also think I'm raising a house full of boys. One other thing before I get to it...I'm really annoyed that I'm typing in italics. I don't mean to be but I can't get it fixed so, sorry.

"It is the nightly custom of every good mother after her children are asleep to rummage in their minds and put things straight for the next morning, repacking into their proper places the many articles that have wandered during the day. If you could keep awake (but of course you can't) you would see your own mother doing this, and you would find it very interesting to watch her. It is quite like tidying up drawers. You would see her on her knees, I expect, lingering humorously over some of your contents, wondering where on earth you had picked this thing up, making discoveries sweet and not so sweet, pressing this to her cheek as if it were nice as a kitten, and hurriedly stowing that out of sight. When you wake in the morning, the naughtiness and evil passions with which you went to bed have been folded up small and placed at the bottom of your mind, and on the top, beautifully aired, are spread out your prettier thoughts, ready for you to put on." from Peter Pan

Aaron has been reading Peter Pan the girls since we have been snowed in. He read the part above about mothers from the first chapter and I just loved it. Honestly, I can totally see the crazy, psycho, stalker mother vibe. On the other hand, I do feel like it very accurately describes what we hope and try to do as parents. Which is shelter our babies when they need it, deal with their stuff, good and bad, and bring out the best in them.

Now, I know what you are imagining. Our family, all snuggled on the couch, freshly bathed in pjs, watching the fire roar in the fire place and listening to their father read from a chapter book.

Me too! But that is totally not how it happened. Aaron was reading to the girls at the kitchen table and had to keep asking, "Are you sure you want me to keep reading this?" Because lemme tell ya...the girls were up and down, and talking, and laughing, and coloring, and changing clothes, and spilling something, and crying...

But the part that finally got their attention was when "Mr. Darling smiled poopoo." That's right. Here we are trying to immerse our children in classic literature and even though it feels like they are only half listening i'm still feeling good about it and all of a sudden we are all laughing about poo. Thank you J.M. Barrie for helping us not take ourselves to seriously :)

snow fall update

2011-02-01T14:28:00.000-08:00

I think the snow has finally slowed down. Final measurement? I have no idea, which is really amazing since the weather has been on ALL day. BUT, I have been out in it and it is up to my knee in the shallowest part and to my hip in the deepest part. Take that mr. meteorologist guy :)

Let me just tell you about this video...
1. i had no idea what i was getting ready to film. Aaron just stuck his head in the house and said. "YOU HAVE TO COME GET THIS ON VIDEO!"
2. This is something only a dad would discover or attempt :)
3. You might want to turn your volume down a touch because it's possible i scream a little.

the blizzard

2011-02-01T07:01:00.000-08:00

Most of this was typed with one hand as I had my arm around abbey and alivia was putting a mop pad on my head and rubbing it around. Please forgive the bad grammar and punctuation :)

i have not so fond memories of predictions of massive amounts of snow, expectations of a snow day, and then waking up to a clear. sunny day complete with school and my homework not done. so you will have to forgive me if i was a bit skeptical when they shut the city of tulsa down last night when the temps were in the 40s and there wasnt a drop of precip. But, lo and behold, we woke up this morning and there was snow. and lots of it! this is our house as of 9 this morning...

To remain in the spirit of doing regular postings...

2011-01-27T06:58:00.000-08:00

I will post today even though I really have nothing significant or witty to report. You're welcome :)

You know it's norovirus season when you hear this from your kids room, "Rapunzel has the stomach virus...(gagging sound effects follow for about a minute).

Ainsley has a "friend" at school. I'm pretty sure he has a crush on her. I'm also pretty sure he could be a bully. So, that's great. Ains told us "J" makes her watch him play soccer at recess or he gets "mad in her face." That did not go over real well with Aaron. Well, that may be an understatement. Aaron had a little "talk" with "J" in which he defended his baby and told him to back off. The conversation ended with "J" getting mad in another kids face. I guess we can call that progress. Anyway, I asked Ains today how things were going with J and she said, "OK, I guess. Today I decided, I have had enough of him for, like, three days, or something." Alrighty then.

Also, I am thinking of painting my bathroom this color...

For real. It is the color of the year people. Did you know there was such a thing? Since 2004, Pantone has conducted a meeting of the minds which results in a "color of the year". Last year it was turquoise. This year it is Honeysuckle. And apparently it will be the color in fashion and interior design. I love it and my mother will be the first person to tell you that my house needs some color :) Here is the bathroom in question. BORING.

Here are a few pictures where people have used this color...I just love it.

FYI: the t.v. is on espn because i haven't had the energy to change it since aaron left. They just did a video montage of a player for the Greenbay Packers leaning his head back ,squirting water into his super long hair, and then flipping it around like a chic. Eewwwww.

Well, how about that. I started with nothing and ended up covering kids, interior design, and football.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day! :)

My apologies to all the aunts out there...

2011-01-24T17:49:00.000-08:00

...but I clearly have the cutest nephew ever. EVER. EV-ER!!!!

What goes around, comes around

2011-01-22T18:26:00.000-08:00

Tonight at dinner, Alivia said "I am picking a booger." Then she belched. Then she turned her napkin into a sleeping bag for her fork.

After dinner we skyped with my parents. Abbey's single contribution to the conversation was the word "BOOBIES!"

I think this may be what they call "payin' for your raising"

Snow Day

2011-01-21T07:18:00.000-08:00

Changed the design again :) No more bathroom wallpaper

We've had a few snow days, so I thought I would share a few pictures of our snow day.

This first one is abbey :)

Ainsley making a snow angel...
I made abbey do push-ups in the snow...not really, I have no idea what is happening here.
All my sweet girls :)

We decided to make snow ice cream. Before I knew what was happening, Alivia was "helping" with no shoes on. She did have on two pairs of socks. That counts for something right?

Everyone got a turn to stir...

Abbey approved only after I added chocolate.

Then they read in front of the fire.

And we ended the day with puzzles. At one point while working on a puzzle abbey said, "Daddy, the most important thing when we grow up is to be a Christian, right?" To which Ainsley responded, "Well, all I want to be when I grow up is a mermaid." I'm gonna have to keep my eye on that one :)

Now before you go hating me because we had a day of perfect parenting and loving each other, it's possible that I had to pull them off of each other a time or two or wrench the wad of hair out of a little clenched fist. But lets just focus on the positive shall we? Hope every one is staying warm!

Wednesday Night

2011-01-19T20:00:00.000-08:00

Note: Yes, I changed the way my blog looks. Yes, it reminds me of bathroom wallpaper. Yes, there is a sentence down there where I used the word "can't" three times. I found it easier to type this disclaimer about my grammar than to actually rework the sentence. Also, no offense to anyone who eats good food and drinks goats milk :) I really do admire that!

At some point in this parenting adventure, Aaron and I decided that there were some battles that are worth fighting, and some that are not. The main things we decided we would not freak about were food and clothes. Now, we don't just let our children roam around eating candy all day. Nor do we let them leave the house in a pair of white leggings that are at least 6 sizes to small, which has been attempted. Too small white leggings are never a good idea, regardless of your age.

Anyway, here are our thoughts on food...

1. I know that I am supposed to fix wholesome, healthy, meals complete with vegetables from my garden and milk from my goat, and organic, and no preservatives, and something about chickens and steroids and blah, blah, blah. Sounds expensive and time consuming to me and while I'm milking the goat my children are shoving huge wads of toilet paper down the toilet and cutting each others hair.

I know that I am supposed to offer them new foods over and over until they finally decide they like it. I tried that and I just got so tired of throwing untouched food in the trash. Not to mention the crying and the gagging. And then after gagging at the meal you poured your heart and soul into, they eat dry bisquick off the counter and cry when you won't give them more.

Aaron's mom swears she raised him on peanut butter and jelly and scrambled eggs. I remember eating a lot of baloney and drinking a lot of milk. And look how great we turned out :)

If it was good enough for our moms, it's good enough for me.

So we don't make a big deal out of trying new stuff. We don't make them clean there plate...I think that teaches people to over eat. We just use common sense.

And finally, clothes.

If you have ever seen our girls, then you probably know where we stand on this. As long as it fits and is "appropriate" then we are probably going to let them wear it. I really can't believe i can't find a picture that illustrates this but I can't and it's getting late. So you'll just have to take my word for it... this is sometimes not an easy one to let go!

One final thing before I end this. I vacumed this rug about an hour before this picture was taken. It's a good thing I love those girls so much :)

Vacation Redefined

2011-01-16T06:50:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm sitting here in Durant waiting for the fog to lift so I can drive back to Tulsa. I know. You don't have to tell me. I'm like a 90 year old when it comes to driving and technology.

I've been in Durant for the last couple of days helping my parents paint a bedroom and I've had a lot of time to think. I don't normally get to think. I recently read an article that said introverts (like me) need time alone to hear themselves think and sort things out. Well, lemme tell ya...the last time i was alone was sometime back in 2005 before i birthed my first child. So when I found myself alone in a quiet house with nothing to do but move that roller back and forth, my mind was making up for lost time. And i thought, Man, this is like a vacation! Which brings me to the point of this post.

Being the mother of many small children will DRASTICALLY lower your standards of what a vacation should be.

Example # 1 Before kids, I would not have considered physical labor a vacation. In fact, I would have considered punishment. And yet, I found my self living it up this weekend. I mean, I went to the bathroom numerous times, BY MYSELF.

Example #2 Now this one is the most telling of how desperate we moms can get for a little "me time". I recently had a colonoscopy . For those of you unfamiliar with this procedure, the part everyone dreads is the prep which involves drinking about 5 gallons of some liquid that I finally decided tasted like salty milk and then sitting on the pot for the rest of the day. My mom and dad took the girls for the weekend so i could do the prep and the procedure without having to worry about them. When aaron called from work to see how things were going, i cross my heart and hope to die, I said, "This is like a vacation!!" And don't get me started on the actual procedure. Those drugs were heaven. Forget the sandy beaches....when can I get another colonoscopy?!

...Do you see what I mean?! If you had told me 10 years ago that i would consider a colonoscopy and painting a vacation I might have jerked your arm off and beat you with it.

In other news, I went to the dentist the other day and found out my gums are receding. Great. Because my teeth aren't big enough already. Then my hygenist told me I was probably clenching my teeth at night. Soon thereafter it came out that I had three small children and my hygenist said, "Well, girl, I could've diagnosed you over the phone!" So there I am processing that my gums are receding and of course my mind immediatly goes to worst case scenario which looked a little something like this...

Then she tells me that a bite guard will help. Nothing sexier than snuggling up to your wife and her bite guard. Except when she takes it out and super long spit strings dangle between her mouth and the bite guard. Come on. Throw me a bone here. So, I left with instructions to wear my retainer and use sensodyne, and possibly gum grafts in my future which are "much less painful nowadays."

Hey, sounds like a vacation to me!

Disney on Ice: Worlds of Fantasy...OMG.

2009-10-13T14:05:00.000-07:00

On a whim, we decided to take the girls to Disney on Ice. They LOVED it. LOVED IT. Seriously. Even Alivia who in her 18+ months has NEVER made it through a church service managed to stay completely still for the entire show. Now I am not proposing that Disney on Ice and church are comparable but that child does not want for entertainment on a sunday morning either.

So we got there and found our seats which were fantastic and the girls were super excited. Abbey even wore her traffic cone.

Here we all are.

And here is aaron and his new bff.
We had a blast and I highly recommend it.

What we've been up to the last few months...

2009-10-01T10:49:00.000-07:00

The other day Ainsley stopped in the middle of playing, looked at me and said, "Mom, when are we ever going to do something fun?" Let me just show you what we had been doing prior to this question...

As if I make them slave around the house all day. None the less, I made it my personal mission to find something else "fun" for us to do.

We have been sort of planning a camping trip and I thought it might be fun to camp in the back yard just to see how things went. And I'm not gonna lie, it was a test for Alivia which she failed miserably. She will not be camping with us.Here is aaron setting up the tent. We got in it at about 10 pm and we were back inside by 6 am. Thank you alivia. We really do love her, she just doesn't like to sleep as much as the rest of us.

I'll try to post later this week with some more pictures and maybe some video. Love, Aud :)

Hilarious

2009-08-13T10:30:00.000-07:00

Aaron sent this to me today. It is hilarious. And so true. I hope ya'll enjoy it. Especially Kyle and Vicki! We love you guys and miss you! The DR is blessed to have you :)

Beaver's Bend

2009-07-23T16:21:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, while aaron was in Houston, the family got together and went to Beavers Bend. We have gone there for as long as I can remember for family reunions, spring break, fall break, you name it. We would use any excuse to go. So, it was a lot of fun to go with the girls and show them all the places and things me and my sisters thought were so fun when we were younger. And between you and me, I'm really trying hard to "country-fy" my children. My parents got a great cabin so we were all able to stay in the same place. It was wonderful place although it did me no favors in my mission to country-fy. Here are some pictures of the trip...
Here we are, majorly overexposed and packed into the minivan like sardines. Mom and me were determined to get everything in one car.The cabin.

This is the morning after we got to the cabin. We went out to look around and stopped for a sit at the fire pit. This is classic Ainsley. Look at the amount of flesh she has in those hands. I really did not mean to capture this moment. Saving my baby's cheeks does take priority of a picture.

These are pictures of steph and her man scott fishing for crawdads. They found one. I'm sure steph will be thrilled that i posted this pic but they are just so cute i couldn't resist :)

Here we are at our nightly campfire. It was only about 110 degrees outside, but the girls were excited about it anyway. They got really good at roasting marshmallows.

This is after beth and nathan got there. The girls were very excited to see them :)

Here is alivia thinking about sticking her feet in the freezing cold water.

This is abbey in the freezing cold water. (I'm trying to be informative yet to the point. I mean this has definate clay family vacation "boring slide show" potential. Hang in there...i could have posted more ;) )

We ate breakfast on the balcony every morning. So nice. Here is Scott holding alivia while she pretends she is shy. We all know she is not. And a picture of Alivia with what i am guessing is 2 powdered donuts crammed in her mouth. That's just how she rolls.

And the girls dancing with paper plates on their heads. I will never understand why we buy expensive toys.

We had a blast and I'm so grateful we had the chance to do this!

Love, Audrey

July 4th take 2...

2009-07-22T19:09:00.000-07:00

As I live and breathe, someone in our neighborhood just shot off some fireworks, on July 22. Clutch. That just really gets me in the mood to write about our holiday in Durant. Like I said we had a great time with our family. I just love them. We always have the best time and we always laugh. Unfortunately most of my cousins were in town because their sweet granny passed away and the funeral was that weekend. I just have the best memories of my Aunt Beverly's mom and dad. It was always such a treat to get to go spend the night at their house with my cousins. Praise God that death is not final!

We didn't have a huge 4th of July party. Alivia was already in bed, so my mom stayed home with her. My dad and me took the girls to his office so we could watch fireworks from the parking lot. The idea was to be as far away from the noise as possible yet still be able to see the show. Because you see, loud noises are just one of the many things on a long list of fears for these girls.

1. Bugs of all kinds (if it even resembles a bug, but is not, say a small dark rock, it will evoke screaming, crying, and climbing up the nearest pair of adult legs)
2. Snakes (and by snakes i mean the dried up worms that you see on the street after a good rainand then a hot day)
3. Frogs (and by frogs i mean frogs)
4. Shots (of course)
5. Timon and Pumba crying at the end of "can you feel the love tonight"
6. King Triton yelling at Ariel
7. Blood
8. Washing their hair
9. Brocolli

And after today I know that they also fear my new electric drill.

So here are some pictures of us at our firework stakeout...
We had a blast. The girls were all dressed up, of course. Great weather, great fireworks. Before the fireworks, we swam. We swam a lot that week. My mom wanted me to get the girls some goggles so i scored some at walgreens that had ariel and flounder on them. The girls loved them. Abbey called them her "gobbles". She loved them so much that she even wore her "gobbles" out of the pool...And here is one tired girl...
Love ya'll, Aud :)

Next up...July 4th in Durant!

2009-07-22T18:13:00.000-07:00

We spent the Fourth in Durant this summer. We had the best time seeing family, swimming, and (my new hobby) buying other people's junk. There is a great new store in Durant called Bremer's Variety Depot. And they are not kidding. They have all kinds of cool stuff. I went at least three times that week looking for things to fill the shelves of my new kitchen. I found some great stuff but here is my favorite thing that happened in Bremer's. My sister Beth and i were browsing and I spotted what I thought was a type of comb. Let me back up a little. Does this bring back memories for anyone else?

Beth I know you feel me. Steph, I think you managed to escape this although you did fall victim to the bowl cut for a little longer than us. Spending the day a Irma Lee and Ike's house, handing Irma Lee perm papers so we could get our perm on. Anywho, someone told my mom that we needed a certain type of comb to care for our lovely fried locks lest they snap off and fall on the floor. So she introduced us to the "rake comb" which you may know as this little number...
and we used that rake like it was our job. (Our looked slightly different. It was the same shape but metal and the handle was what I now know to be a material called bakelite.) And we called it "The Rake". I'm sure it still echos through the halls of 111. "I CAN'T FIND THE RAKE! I'VE GOT THE MOUSSE, THE RAVE, AND THE SUPER SKINNY CURLING IRON, BUT I NEED THE RAKE! MOM, DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE RAKE IS?! I can hardly stop myself. I mean, my hair routine deserves it own website. The crispy bangs, the srunching, and crimping, the frito chip perm smell in my hair, to perm the bangs or not to perm the bangs, I could go on and on. But, the show must go on.

So there we are a Bremer's, browsing, and I spot "the rake". I yell to Beth, because she is 10 or 15 feet away and also I am super excited, "Oh my gosh Beth! It's a rake!" And then I proceed to comb my hair and reminisce about all the great times we had right there in the store. Sophisticated, I know. About this time I start to wonder what a hair comb is doing in a booth full of kitchen items and I think Beth smelled somethin fishy too because she goes, "What does the tag say it is?" I check and it says "SPONGE CAKE CUTTER WITH BAKELITE HANDLE". I feel embarrassed for about half a second that I was just combing my hair (quite loudly) with kitchen utensil in the middle of the store. Then I get over it and decide somebody's got some 'splainin' to do. My mom still swears it was a hair comb but I searched google images and the ONLY rake i found that looked like our rake was this one...
loving life right in the middle of a sponge cake.

I know this has nothing to do with the title, I got a little side tracked.

Audrey :)

It's 7 o'clock in the evening and I just brushed my teeth for the first time today...

2009-07-22T17:13:00.000-07:00

I really feel like that may explain my absence from the ol' blog. I mean, if you know me at all you know I'm not a hygiene freak ( I even had to look that word up to spell it correctly), but I do like to give my teeth a good once over in the morning for the sake of those I might encounter during the day. You know, the walmart check out lady with the bright red hair and latex gloves (or man who loves to make jokes the entire time I am checking out), the ups/fedex/usps delivery person, or one of the many "evangelists" who roam my neighborhood, and of course my family :).

All of that to say, that unfortunately, "blogging" has taken a back seat around here. You've probably noticed that I even deleted my face book account -GASP!!- It was a major news source for me and I was very sad to see it go. In fact, if I had been on facebook I can guarantee you that I would have been the one to inform my husband that his Beloved Michael Jackson had passed away instead of him finding out from a youth group member via text (which I might add he didn't even believe. I had to say, "Give me that phone. I will find the truth!") However, even if I hadn't initiated my own investigation, the 25 text messages saying "sorry for your loss" in the next two hours might have tipped him off.

So face book is gone and blogging is neglected because we have been BUSY! But we have been having fun. This will be an attempt to catch you up and show you some pictures of what we have been up to. I have no idea how this will take shape. Maybe one massive post that you will have to print off, bind, and read like a book. Or maybe I'll do a bunch of short ones...I'll just wing it...I'm crazy like that.

I think I'll start pre-traveling. And I'm just going to skip over the "aren't my kids so cute" pictures and go straight to the "they are so much like their dad" pictures. ;)

Here is Ainsley washing the bricks with her clothes.

Here is Alivia helping remove tile from the kitchen wall.

Here is Ainsley drinking her milk and holding her nose. She has been doing this for the last 6 weeks and that is not an exaggeration. I made the fatal mistake of buying the target brand milk instead of Borden milk from walmart one time when I was in a hurry. Ainsley swore it tasted like "Abbey's milk" which is soy milk which has never gotten within 5 feet of Ainsley's apparently extremely refined palate. So being the fabulous mom I am, I told her to hold her nose and she wouldn't taste anything. So she did. And when that girl finds a good thing she does not let it go. She has continued to hold her nose when drinking milk despite the fact that I have long since replace the target brand with borden and even showed her the jug. Does this remind anyone of the glove? Here is that story...Ainsley was at granna and granpas and fell. She swore she had a scratch on her hand and at that point in time she DID NOT want to see the boo boo. We could not see it, but she was so convinced it was there that she put her hand behind her back and left it there....for three days. She ate with it behind her back, she bathed with it behind her back, she tried to get dressed with it behind her back, you get the picture. So I had another one of my brilliant ideas. I really was concerned she was going to fall and smash her face in with out that hand to catch herself. So I told her to wear a mitten so she could still use her hand but not have to see the "boo boo". Apparently she loved that idea almost as much as holding her nose because we had a child who wore one fuzzy pink mitten for about a month in the middle of the summer. She even slept in it. Ok, I've got to get one of abbey girl in here.
Well, this is Alivia, not Abbey. But I do have some great ones of abbey for a later post. Alivia loves to put things on her head and try to walk. Here she is with the library book bag on her head about to walk into the island.

Well, I think I'm going to move on to another post. By the way, see that craziness going on in the kitchen? I'll do a before and after post when it's done. It looks TOTALLY different!

Love you all, Aud :)

Not my best idea ever...Thankyou God for sharpees (This post was not edited so please accept my apologies)

2009-05-31T17:12:00.000-07:00

The other day I was a target and decided to get the girls swimsuits. I had a few of the girls with me so I couldn't linger and really think about styles and sizes like i like to do. So, hoping to keep it simple, I quickly decided I would get the girls the exact same swimsuit. I was hoping to avoid the "but I want one like abbey's" or "but, I wanted a pink one too" business. Because you know how it is. Just when you think you've got your kids and their preferences figured out they change them.

So anyway, I buy three of the exact same swimsuit in three different sizes and take them home.
We finally decide it is time to go play in the water so I go to get the swimsuits out and start taking off the price tags. Enter brilliant idea #2 - I think to my self, "Self, you just know that Ainsley is going to say that the tag on the inside is scratchy so lets just go ahead and cut that out. While your at it just cut everybody's tags out so you don't have to run back inside for the scissors when abbey decides that hers is scratchy too."

I was so proud of myself until we decided to play in the water again. The swimsuits were in various stages of dirty clothes basket, dryer, and floor. So I grab a swim suit off of the floor, look at it and think "these all look just alike. I'm going to have to look at the tag to see whose it is...OH WAIT...I cut all those out. OK, well I just find them all and compare them." So I proceed with this plan but can only find two. I put the bigger one on ainsley and the smaller one on abbey. Later I found the third one and discover that Ainsley has on abbey's and abbey has on alivia's. I thought they seemed a little snug.

Next summer=3 different swimsuits and they can wear it or go naked.

Love, Aud :)

By the way, can I get a shout out for our white trash swimming pool? Anybody? Holla.

Why Not?

2009-05-23T13:28:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday was just one of those days. You know those days I'm talking about right? Like when you load the kids up in the car and go to sonic just so you can be off your feet for half a second and those precious angels are tied down, er, I mean buckled safely in their car seats and therefore unable to wreak havoc. And just when you think, ahhh, and take a deep breath, you realize that someone has dropped their orange slush in the car and the bottom has busted open. Which results in you running across the sonic parking lot to the trash can in your bare feet with sticky orange slush making tracks down your arm. And of course you have nothing to clean it up with so you head home where you proceed to spill a red slush on the only untouched part of the floorboard. You feel me?

Apparently the memory of that sonic trip had faded enough that when "one of those days" rolled around again last wednesday, I decided once again that an outing was just what the dr. ordered. So for whatever reason we decided to try a place here in tulsa called Kupcakz. We walked in and I just knew that the girls would want this....

I mean it's pink and sparkly. Nuff said.

But instead they ordred this....

Go figure.

So anyway, we get our cupcakes and sit down and start eating. We were just finishing up when the lady came out and asked how we liked our cupcakes. They were delicious and I said as much. Then she noticed that my precious angels had just licked the frosting off and said "Did you know we sell frosting shots? It's a shot glass full of frosting. That way you don't have to buy the whole cupcake."

Well, several things immediatly crossed my mind. First, I was slightly appalled because what would "they" think if "they" knew that I fed my children a shot glass full of frosting?! That quickly gave way to "These people are genius. Where have they been all my life?" I bet that the Kupcakz people would give me permission to give this to abbey for dinner...

You have no idea how much food and elbow grease would be saved if I could do that. Unfortunately, it's against "the rules." Because "they" say that I need to feed my children a healthy balanced diet with lots of veggies. And "they" say to keep offering them to your children even if they continually gag at the mere smell of broccoli (not even kidding). So, I will continue to do what "they" say but every once in a while you can bet we will be found at Kupcakz where "they" have no say and frosting shots are not only allowed but recommended.

Check-up, Garage Sale, and My Most Recent Investment

2009-05-18T18:23:00.000-07:00

****This is the second of two posts tonight. I wrote one back in april and just got around to finishing it up and posting it. So scroll down to April 21st for the other one.*****

Hello! So it's been too long again. Things are staying busy around here and I don't get to do this nearly as often as I would like to. I don't really have anything major to blog about but since it's been so long I have a lot of little tid bits you might find interesting or entertaining :).

Alivia had her 15 month checkup today. It went great. She is tall and skinny and can only say three (well 2 for certain) words. Dr. Freed assured me this was normal considering she has two older sisters who are more than happy to speak for her. Here she is at fifteen months. It is possible that I might have given her an oreo to eat while we drove home from the grocery store. Or it is possible that she chose to eat dirt that I was using to fill in holes in the back yard. Or it's possible that both of those things happened within about an hour of each other and I can't remember which event the picture is from.

Speaking of the store. Whenever i can I go to Reasor's because they have the carts with the cars on the front that the kids can get in and drive. It really is a hysterical scene. The girls LOVE to do this. (And what mother doesn't love pushing around what is basically a stretch limo with a squeaky wheel and a bumper sticker that says "this vehicle makes wide turns". Can I get an Amen moms?) So we have been to Reasor's twice in the last 4 days. And both times the same man has talked to the girls while I am checking out. He always says "What are you boys doing?!" And Ainsley and Abbey both look out at him from inside their plastic grocery cart car and do not say a word. Not one. Just staring. Finally, at dinner tonight Ainsley says, "Mom, I think if we were boys that man would have called us girls."

We participated in our neighborhood garage sale this last weekend. I loved it. I love having garage sales. I hate going to them. It just feels sooooo good to get rid of all that stuff. At some point during the day someone in the family tried to sell Alivia for a dollar. Fortunately, we did not have any takers. I think they could tell by looking at her what a little toot she is.

And with the proceeds from the garage sale I am getting this.

(Just the blue stuff. Not the yellowy stuff and for sure not the swans.) I am absolutely thrilled about it. I have been searching high and low for a duvet cover that is pretty, yet not to pretty for a man to sleep under..."in", yet not so "in" that it will be out in a month...not floral, and not crazy hurt you eyes pattern---(I am sitting here with ains while she watches a movie...she just asked me what a gentleman was. I said "a man who is nice".(That's right. Just call me Audrey Webster) She said "daddy is a gentleman". I just want to squeeze her sometimes.)---anyway, I think you get my drift about the duvet cover.

Please keep comments to yourself unless they are along the lines of "Oh my goodness. That is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It is classic, timeless, you will love it forever, and it will make aaron feel like a man...kind of. Well, Audrey, it's for sure more manly than that green and pink, flowery, ruffley garden mess you make that poor fellow sleep under right now." Seriously. I've already bought it. And I spent A LOT of money on it. I don't need seeds of doubt. Feel free to copy and paste that quote in your comments.

Finally, we have had two days in a row of great weather. Tonight after dinner the girls got to run around in the yard and play. They had a blast. Here are some pictures of their rosy cheeks :).

Love, Aud :)

Lists

2009-04-21T19:58:00.000-07:00

This morning while Aaron was making breakfast Ainsley asked me if she could write with a marker. I gave it to her along with the pad that I used to use for my grocery list. I say "used to" because it kept mysteriously disappearing from it's spot on the fridge with all the items listed on it that i needed to get at Wal-mart (which the girls call Mal-Mart). Now I stick a piece of masking tape onto the counter and make my list on there. Aaron laughs at me but hey, it works.

So Ainsley gets this pad and starts to dictate a grocery list to Aaron. Here it is:

carrots
ice cream
cupcakes
diapers
fish

Now the girl is really not to far off the mark i'm afraid. However, the last item stumped me. I was thinking She wants to eat fish?! How exciting! I mean it's not really my thing but it's sooo healthy! Unfortunately, she went on to explain that what she meant was a pet fish. In keeping with the list theme, I think I'll have her start one titled

Things to do when I no longer live with my parents

1. Get a pet fish

I don't know why this idea is so repulsive to me. I mean we have a 120 pound lab who lives in our house. I am no stranger to the "pleasures" of pet ownership.

You know, now that I think about it, she already has one list going...

Events happening way in the future that i will not participate in:

1. High school
2. Get Baptized

That's right. She told me that she does not want to go to high school. And being the fabulous parent that I am I told her that she didn't have to. I'm really counting on the fact that she is going to forget about that by the time high school rolls around.

And as far as getting baptized...that one is her choice. It's not looking good though. I mean I will consider it progress if we can just witness a baptism from the audience without having a panic attack. I know the Lord will work it out ;).

No title comes to mind that is appropriate.

2009-04-20T10:14:00.000-07:00

I just had the following conversation with Ainsley:

Ainsley: Mom, what do you have on your boobies?

(I am wearing a red v-neck t-shirt)

Me: I have a bra on my boobies...why?

Ainsley: Well, there wasn't a big bump there so I didn't know.

Me: Well, unfortunately mommy doesn't have very big boobies.

Ainsley: When will you get your big boobies?

Me: I probably won't get big boobies Ains. God made me just like this.

Ainsley: Ok

And somewhat related, I have heartd Ainsley and Abbey both refer to this article of clothing as "the purple boobies".

Innocent Bystander

2009-04-17T19:47:00.000-07:00

So, I just love it when I hear a lesson or read a book or go to bible study and think, "wow, that was a great lesson, but it doesn't really apply to me. I mean, i just really don't have trouble with that." What should immediately follow that thought is "WARNING! WARNING! REVELATION FROM THE LORD HEADED YOUR WAY O SMUG ONE!"

Some of the most recent talks given that I didn't think I really needed to hear were dealing with (all on different occasions) anger, being a servant, and being in a certain place for a certain purpose that God has in mind for you. I can't remember the last time i was angry. I mean aaron and i have "discussions", but we don't yell and i never feel angry. Frustrated, yes. Angry, no. And the being a servant thing...i'm a mother of three small children, enough said. Just kidding, but really, I have always been way on board with the fact that following Jesus means it's just not about me. And the last lesson, about God's timing and purpose for us was from the esther study i am in. You know the story...she is in a royal position so that she can save her people.

So, how you ask, did the Lord reveal to me that maybe i did need a little help in these areas? I'm so glad you asked. :)

God has placed a girl in my life who does not have much going for her at all . I do not even know the extent of the abuse and neglect that may have happened in her life, but it shows from her extremely poor emotional state to her extremely poor hygiene. God has blessed me with the opportunity to spend a lot of time with her just hanging out and talking. I have really gotten to know her well and I have actually started to be there for her not out of "christian duty" or whatever but because I love her. At least I thought I did. But it wasn't the kind of love God calls us to. Because she called me the other day and said she needed a place to stay for one night while her parents were out of town. And my gut reaction was (ugh, i'm so ashamed of this) a little bit repulsed at the idea of it because of reasons previously mentioned. So I said something about talking to aaron and getting back to her.

So, today she calls asking for the answer because tomorrow night is the night. She sounds pretty desperate. She had plans to stay with a friend and now the friend is saying she can't spend tomorrow night with her. So she has no where to go. And I start to get Mad. Fuming. Why is she all of a sudden my responsibility?! Why did her parents leave town without making sure she had a reliable place to stay?! I am feeling totally taken advantage of here! I mean, what if we had been out of town? What then? Whatever you did for one of the least of these, you did for me. Ok, fine. But, I really don't want to be a doormat here! I feel like there is some dishonesty and carelessness happening here and i don't want to be an enabler! This has to stop somewhere right? That is not for you to decide. ok. But, Lord, it's just not convenient for me right now. I never said it would be.

So, I am getting ready to make a bed for someone who I'm not sure is coming because now I can't get a hold of her. But I have been very humbled today and taught a mighty fine lesson about how to love people. Because i imagine that most times in the presence of our Holy Lord i am a clingy, weepy, dysfunctional, stinky mess. And He never turns me away.

So what does the title have to do with anything? Well, unfortunately, there was one from my rage session today. And of course it was the one I love the most. This all took place in the kitchen which Aaron had just finished cleaning. And i went to throw something in the trash which resides in the pantry. Not my first choice but when you have a dog that likes to eat ANYTHING that's where it has to go. So I open the door to toss the trash and the smell of burrito just about knocks me over. Remember, I am already on the warpath. I look and sitting on top of it are cold, stinky burritos from lunch. So now I'm mad because he didn't take out the nasty trash. We have enough smell issues in our house (2 in diapers and a dog) without adding burritos to the mix. I proceed to do what any good wife would do. I sigh as loud as I can without passing out and then do everything I can to make noise while changing the trash bag so he will ask me what's wrong so I can then say , "nothing". Hon, I know we've already worked this out, but sorry again for taking it out on you and thank you for cleaning the kitchen, and for playing with the girls while i worked, and for being the best dad and husband. :)

2009-04-14T21:49:00.000-07:00

Today I was reminded of a "not so great parenting moment". Aaron and I had lunch with some friends today (That's sounds really glamorous doesn't it? Well, don't let me fool you. We ate lunch in the mall food court and then we let abbey ride on the ninja turtle truck that apparently hasn't seen a cleaning product since 1961.) and we were talking about our girls experience with going to the dentist because abbey had a dentist appointment today. This "not so great parenting moment" came up during the conversation and I realized i had blocked this out of my mind until I was able to laugh at it. I mean, I actually blogged about Ainsley's last visit to the dentist and called it "uneventful". People, it was anything but.

It all started a few weeks after ainsley went to preschool. Things had been going great and then all of the sudden my sweet, compliant, first born angel...

started talking back. I don't mean a little back talk here and there. Picture red eyes, fangs, claws...you get the idea. I would ask her to do something and she would say, "NOOO! I WON'T!!!" or something like that. It was bad enough that I called her teacher and asked if anyone in her class might have taught her to speak like that. Her teacher ,Mrs. K, said no, she had not noticed anyone else doing this at preschool. Not even Ainsley. How special. She saved it just for us.

We try the regular consequences for a few days to no avail. So I talk to Mrs. K who happens to be a good friend and someone i absolutely and completely trust in all things dealing with children. She has two precious daughters, she is a great mom. So I ask her for some advice and, among other things, she mentions washing her mouth out with soap. Now before you go all child protective services on me, let me remind you of all those car trips with no seat belts, whatever that nasty stuff was you put on my thumb to make me stop sucking it, and of course, that night i spent in the garage. By myself. In the dark. Desperate times, people.

So we decide to try washing her mouth out with soap because nothing else is working and this behavior is not ok. We have got to send a message here. FYI: it is easier than ever to wash out a kids mouth with soap. We have that soap that foams up when you pump it out so we just pump it right onto her toothbrush and then "wash" her tongue.

She hated it. No, really. I've never seen her react so violently towards something. It was not pretty.

We tried this method for a few weeks and then decided that maybe it wasn't working and we absolutley felt yucky after a round of Ainsley vs. Mom/Dad/soapcovered toothbrush.

Fast forward a few months. "Washing the mouth out with soap" has been deemed a failure and we no longer speak of it. It's been long enough that I actually forgot that we had done it.

Fast forward to Ainsley's dentist appointment. Everything is going great...the teeth are getting cleaned, x-rays are being taken, tears are not being cried, and then the time comes for flouride. I don't know when the last time you took a kid to the dentist was, but in my day, we had to swish this nasty stuff and then we were told not to swallow it or you would die. FYI: it's easier than ever to give a child a flouride treatment. They just squirt this white foam onto a toothbrush and then brush their teeth with it. Are these people for real?! Where is the death drink?!

The dentist starts coming at ainsley with the foam covered toothbrush and ainsley says in a terrified voice, "I don't want you to wash my mouth out with soap." Our sweet, innocent, dentist who I'm sure has never harmed a creature on God's green earth gives me a bewildered look while reassuring ainsley that these are "happy bubbles".

I looked right back at the dentist and said "I have no idea what she is talking about".

I'm gonna go ahead and assume that lying and throwing my sweet child under the bus in the same breath probably took me out of the running for mom of the year.

Hello, My name is Audrey Loney, and I'm addicted to my computer.

2009-04-12T18:37:00.000-07:00

Here it is folks! The long awaited update. I know you have all been on the edge of your seats for this high quality entertainment. Meanwhile, we have been roughing it here at the Loney house. Our power cord had a short or something and stopped working. So we were without a computer for about a week. I am really ashamed to admit this next part, but since it seems this blog's sole purpose is for me to embarass myself, onward I go. I WAS FREAKING OUT AFTER 1 DAY WITHOUT THE COMPUTER!!! Aaron came home at the end of that first day and I think I must have been exhibiting some pretty serious withdrawal symptoms because he took one look at me, locked me in our room with his mac book, and took the girls to sonic. I love him.

Well, the power cord finally arrived and I have missed updating my family and friends. So here is a little recap of the last few weeks to catch you up.

Ainsley's preschool had their annual art show. She was VERY excited about it. She did the snowman on the top row, and the sunflowers right in the middle.

We took advantage of some warm weather one afternoon and we all went to the zoo.

And of course Easter! We spent the weekend in Durant and had a great time seeing family. The girls got to go to their first Kiwanis Easter egg hunt where we practically had to beg them to put the eggs in their baskets. Good times :).

Well, that's about it. Except to give you a little teaser...I recently acquired some pretty good material that will make for a fabulous post. If you were at the Clay house this afternoon at about 3:30 then you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, it'll probably take me a day or two to work it up but stay tuned...it's a doozy.

Houston, We have a problem!

2009-03-30T18:34:00.000-07:00

As you all know, Aaron is close to being done with a counseling degree. He really enjoys it and I think he is going to make an outstanding counselor some day. A couple of semesters ago he had a class on human sexuality. They talked about ALL KINDS OF STUFF but one thing we were able to learn and use right away was when talking with your kids about their "private parts" you should use the technical terms. So we do that. Apparently we don't do it enough. These two conversations happened within the last week:

Ainsley was sitting in my lap and kept (is kept a word? all of a sudden it looks like something i just made up. ) scratching her bottom.

Me: Ainsley what in the world is wrong?

Ainsley: Nothing. I'm just scratchin' my face.

AND......

Abbey actually pooped in the potty today. She also needed to pee but for some unknown reason she can not poop and pee in the same water. That is another blog completely...Anyway, so i flush the poop while she is sitting on the potty and she starts laughing and says "That water splashed me in the nose."

I don't even have anything clever to say about this.

And while i'm at it here are pictures of the snow we had a couple of days ago. I wasn't able to take to many pictures because it was really coming down and my camera was getting soaked.
Love ya'll, Aud

I'm learning that when i say "I will never" it can be tranlsated "I most certainly will"...

2009-03-30T11:02:00.000-07:00

Case in point...

I WILL NEVER

A loooong time ago I was watching this show on discovery (or one of those channels) about this woman and her dogs. She had these huge St. Bernard's (which I love) (almost as much as I love parentheses) and they were doing an interview in her house. While they were talking to her they were showing some footage of the dogs laying around with her in the house. I noticed that she had dark green carpet. I also notice that massive dog hair tumbleweeds keep rolling across the green carpet. I am disgusted. This is what I say to myself. "When I have big dogs in my house I will NEVER have dog hair tumbleweeds. I mean does that woman not own a vacuum?!?"

I MOST CERTAINLY WILL

I noticed this on the bathroom floor today. Now this is not the first time I have seen dog hair in my house. I do try to keep it under control but people it is like a stinking full time job. And every time I see it I think of that poor woman who I judged. So when I saw this today and thought of dog hair tumbleweed lady again, I thought, Hmmm, maybe God has been trying to tell me something about being critical and judgmental. So, in a effort to humble myself and make it right with dog hair tumbleweed lady, I am posting a picture of my very own dog hair tumbleweeds for the world to see.

Even princesses have bad hair days...

2009-03-27T15:26:00.001-07:00

Does anyone else ever get tired of feeling like you have to have it together all the time? I know I feel that pressure alot around here and I get so dang tired of it. I'm in a Beth Moore study right now (i know, isn't everybody?) on Esther and it is fantastic and a gift from above. She said something last night that i had to share with my ladies because I know we all feel inadequate in some way at some time. Beth said that she has these three verses written on a notecard faceup on her desk where she sees them everyday. Here they are:

Col 2:10 And you are complete in him, who is the head of all rule and authority.

SoS 7:10 I am my beloved's, and he longs for me.

Psalm 90:17 And let the beauty of the LORD our God be on us.

I don't know about ya'll but I love this reassurance from my Lord that he makes me complete, I don't need anything else. And that the "beauty of the Lord is on me". Now that gives me confidence. The Lord's beauty is eternal while this earthly "beauty" is getting gray hair and having to wax in places i don't care to mention, and wearing out that leg press machine at the gym trying to keep my hiney from going any further south (and ya'll i'm getting real here) tries to convince aaron every year that our tax return should be used to get me some boobs. Thank you Lord for allowing me to share in your beauty!

I hope you girlies can get some encouragement from Beth's words as well, because hey, even princesses have bad hair days :). I know I will probably be reading them everyday....................................twice..........................................ok, maybe three times.

A note on the picture of Ariel...Aaron was in the bathroom helping abbey potty and I heard abbey saying "I don't like thaaaaaaaaaat. I don't like thaaaaaat." They came out and aaron showed me what she was upset about. It was the Ariel doll without her hair. So being the super mom I am I just glued her right back together and set her on the counter to dry. Four or five hours later I came back to check her. She seemed fine so I said "Hey girls! It looks like Ariel is back in the game!" I don't know what came over me at that moment but I decided to throw ariel from the kitchen to the living room. She left my hand and shot straight into the ceiling in the kitchen. Her hair fell off again right there in front of the girls. Then my loving husband said, "Hon, it's a wonder you ever started varsity for anything in high school. You threw that like you've never thrown anything in your life."

He sometimes forgets that I'm a rockstar.

The last few days...

2009-03-25T16:33:00.000-07:00

Ainsley went to the dentist this morning and it was very uneventful except for THIS....

THOSE ARE HER GROWN-UP TEETH PEOPLE. That's right. Those two squares under her sweet tiny baby teeth are her permanent teeth coming in. I think i'm going to be sick. I'm sure it will take them a few years to make their presence known, but something about seeing them there makes me a little bit sad that my baby is growing up. It's like the first domino is about to tip which will start a chain reaction of hormones, makeup, driver's license, boyfriends...ughh. I'm starting to think maybe i should have titled this post "Over reaction much?"

In other news, my laundry baskets are finally getting used...

Hope everyone is doing well! I've got to go record lost and survivor! Love ya'll, Aud

Conversations with Ainsley

2009-03-24T19:57:00.000-07:00

Aaron and Ainsley are on their way home from church. Ainsley decides she has to tinkle and can not make it home. Aaron pulls into a gas station where they both go to the bathroom. The following conversation ensues...

Ainsley: "What's that thing?"

Aaron: "What thing?" (Really hoping to avoid this conversation)

Ainsley: "That thing your fingers are touching."

Aaron: "I'll tell you when we get in the car." (Maybe she'll forget about it by then)

They finish their business get back in the car and start driving...

Ainsley: "Tell me."

Aaron: "Tell you what?"

Ainsley: "Tell me about that thing."

Aaron laughs uncontrollably

Aaron: "That is called a penis and it's what God gave boys to get their tinkle out."

Ainsley: "Is that where your poop comes out too?"

Aaron: "Oh heavens no. Everybody has a bottom which is what poop comes out of. Boys have a penis that they tinkle out of and girls have a vagina that they tinkle out of." (That's making those professors proud.)

A few moments of silence...

Ainsley: "I think I'm tired."

Aaron: "Me too."

This conversation happened today in the van. Ainsley and Abbey know about Jesus dying on the cross and have a big concern with the soldiers who put him up there. Also, a police officer visited Ainsley's preschool today and gave a safety talk. I think this conversation was the product of those two things...

Ainsley: "Do soldiers put some kids parents in jail?"

Aaron: "Yes, sometimes. But only the parents who don't follow the rules."

Ainsley: "Do some kids have to stay with their granna and grampas or grammi and papas when their parents go to jail?"

Audrey: "Yes, but your mommy and daddy aren't going to go to jail. We don't break the laws. There are some--"

Aisnely: "Mommy you do break the rules sometimes."

Audrey: "Well, yes mommy is not perfect, but people go to jail for killing--"

Ainsley: "Now daddy's are perfect..................................... but you are a really good driver."

Audrey: "Well, thank you--"

Ainsley: "And if you see a stranger you aren't supposed to talk to them or take their candy."

Aaron and Audrey: "Yes, that's exactly right"

Aisnley: "But in Sleeping Beauty, Aurora talks to the prince and he's a stranger."

Audrey: "Well, sleeping beauty is not a real story. It's pretend."

Ainsley: "Are we real?"

Aaron and Audrey: "Yes"

Abbey: "Is this van real?"

Aaron: "This is all too real."

At this point they decided to sing to the song that was playing.

Oh no she didn't...

2009-03-19T11:00:00.000-07:00

After a lot of self reflection i have decided to post this story. A couple of days ago i was reminded of why i named this blog Goodbye Dignity, Hello Motherhood. I have done a whole lot of things i never thought i would since i had kids. For instance...i honestly cannot recall the last time i went to the bathroom by myself, i have had to answer questions about boobies and bottoms in front of perfect strangers, and then of course there is childbirth and everything that goes along with it. I know some people think "it is just so beautiful" and "such a miracle" and yes it is amazing. But you are talking to the girl who did not eat for two days before scheduled inductions in hopes of avoiding a bm in front of my dr. during labor. That is committment to preserving some dignity people.

When this happened I thought to myself, "oh my gosh, i am sooo glad no one is here to see this". But then i decided if any story deserves to be on this blog it is this one. And besides, the only people who read this are 1)family and they have to love me anyway and 2)other moms who feel my pain :).

Tuesday afternoon, i had loaded the girls in the car to go visit grammi and papa in Durant. The trip went really well until we entered Savanna. It started with abbey who as you know is potty training. We are still having poop problems so she hadn't been in a while. As we cruise into Savanna she says "I'm gonna be si-ick". I'm thinking she's probably not but i'm going to stop and put the trash can next to her just in case. So i pull in to this HUGE SCARY truck stop that i'm quite certain is full of escaped convicts from Stringtown and "ladies of the night" (ya'll know the one)and hop out to help abbey. By this time she had decided she's not sick but "poopy" and would like a new diaper. She is not poopy but i go ahead and change her on top of the extra seat in the van.

About this time ainsley tells me that her carseat is uncomfortable. So I offer to put her blanket behind her. She says no. Fine, no skin off my back. I get everyone settled again and pull back on the highway. Then Ainsley decides that she DOES want me to put the blanket behind her back. I say no. She starts crying. The crying quickly escalates to a flat out fit. I am undeterred. Call me cold hearted, call me whatever but most of the time tantrums don't do anything but make me more determined to win. Then she decides she needs to go to the bathroom and she cannot wait. All of this happened in a very short time period so we haven't gone far at all and are still in savanna.

I come to the last gas station in savanna pull in the parking lot. Now, normally i travel with a "car potty" to avoid having to go into gas station bathrooms because ewwwww. But of course today i couldn't find it. So after digging through the suitcases for shoes for abbey and ainsley we all get out of the car and i herd everyone into the gas station. Keep in mind that for this next chain of events I am hold alivia the entire time because i didn't have shoes for her and no way was i putting her down in the gas station bathroom. So we make our way into the bathroom and i help ains onto the potty. While she is doing her business she asks if we can get a treat. I say sure cause i'm cool like that. Then abbey says she needs to go. She has on a diaper which is going to complicate things as far as getting it back on while she stands up while I hold another child. Enter my brilliant idea: I'll just throw the diaper away and put another one on her when we get back out to the car. So that is exactly what i do.

Everyone finishes their business and i herd them out to pick out a treat. We had just made it to the candy aisle when abbey announces that her "tummy is hurtin'" and that she needs to go poop. I'm slightly close to panicking because she doesn't have on a diaper and she has on a dress. So there is huge potential for a pof right here in the gas station. BUT, i think, if she poops in the potty we should be fine. So, I herd everyone back to the bathroom. She sits on the potty,does nothing, GRABS AHOLD OF THE GAS STATION TOILET SEAT WITH HER BARE HANDS(heaven help me),says she is done, gets off, and then immediately says her tummy hurts.

We have yet to pick out a treat and pay for it.

I consider my options:
1)Make a run for the car and skip the treat which would mean not doing something i said i would do and i really hate to do that to the girls.
2)Herd everyone out to the car, try to keep my children from going onto the highway that is very close while i put a diaper on abbey, then go back in for the stinking treat
3)Hmmm, there is that very gently used diaper in the bathroom trash

So i do what any self respecting mom would do. I cracked open the lid of the trash can with one finger to see if i could tell exactly what the diaper was touching. As far as i could tell it was laying on paper towels that people had used to dry their hands on. (please Lord let it be) So I reached in up to my elbow and pulled out that diaper and then i performed a diapering feat that i think has yet to be matched. I rediapered abbey while she stood up with one hand while i held alivia. I rock. Except for that part where i went dumpster diving.

Mrs. Comer would have been proud of this "Enthuuuuuuuuusiasm"!

2009-03-16T11:31:00.000-07:00

Let me just start by saying that i can't imagine that i will post more than once in a day often. The material was just handed to me on a silver platter this afternoon and I couln't resist another one. I mean ya'll have got to see this.

She's bringing out the big guns...

2009-03-16T10:33:00.000-07:00

Last Friday night our family had plans to go over to the Brookmans for dinner. We had talked about it with the girls and they were REALLY looking forward to it. Ainsley was probably the most excited but she had been acting really crabby all day. So finally about 30 minutes before we need to leave I decided maybe she didn't feel good. I take her temp no less than 10 times and twice i get 99.2. I relay this to aaron and he proceeds to take her temp another ten times and gets "normal" every time. Then we change the batteries and i take it 3 or 4 more times and get 99.4 once. All this time aaron and I are discussing what we should do. Maybe he should go and take the little girls and I will stay home with ains...maybe she doesn't have a fever and she'll be fine...maybe we should give her motrin...you get the idea. About this time she comes up to us like this...
and says..."Now this Bible is tellin' you that I can go! Do you understand me?"

Now, first of all, we love God and his word in our home and we talk about him alot, but we do not beat our children over the head with it. I mean seriously, can't you just see it? Me chasing Abbey around the house with my bible yelling "Abbey, this Bible is telling you DON'T poop on the floor!" I honestly have no idea where she gets this.

And secondly, this is not the first incident of Ainsley using the bible to make sure somebody got the message. The good new is I happened to catch that one on video. Just a little info on the video...last summer ainsley decided she would lead us all in a "bible study". She is wearing one of my nighty things and Abbey informed us at some point that she was standing in that spot because she was "dying on the cross". It's a little chaotic but i think you'll get the idea...what happens at 30 seconds is just about identical to what happened friday night.

So there you have it. Apparently our sweet Ainsley is feelin' the spirit. :) Oh, and it turns out the bible was right because she did get to go. :)

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

2009-03-15T18:52:00.000-07:00

Tuesday morning I woke up and decided I had changed Abbey's dirty diapers for the last time. I announced that today she would tinkle and poop in the potty. Keep in mind I have been avoiding this like the plague because of our first run in with potty training. Oh my Lord, we potty trained ainsley for at least 6 years. (as i am typing this i can hear abbey saying from her bed "i need to go tinkle in the potty mom"). I started way to early with ains so i thought i had learned from my mistake and when i eventually started abbey she would have it down in a few days.

Back to tuesday...my plan seemed to be working like a charm. She would tell me when she needed to go and then take care of business, number 1 that is. Around noon i was slightly concerned because she hadn't pooped. Normally, Abbey is extremely prompt with her bms...first thing after breakfast every morning she produces. I'm pondering all this but not to concerned because considering how well she's doing with number 1 i figure number 2 will eventually become convincing enough that she will sit on the potty and do the deed. In fact, i'm comfortable enough with her performance so far that instead of being on her like white on rice, i decide to sit down and check my facebook while she wonders around the house commando.

As a side note here, i have decided that anything i need to know about anything can be found out through status updates on facebook. So I have officially declared it my primary news source bumping People magazine to a close second.

Anywho...back to abbey who is wondering aimlessly with no clothes. Now, what i am about to tell you is not for the faint of heart so consider yourself warned. Abbey has ambled into the kitchen and gotten really quiet. Just as the sounds of silence alert me that something is amiss Abbey cries "mommy, something is on the flo-or!" Lo and behold there on the kitchen floor is the poop i have been eagerly awaiting all morning. Abbey then informs me that she is not done yet. So i scoop her up and plant her booty on the potty. I turn to take care of the mess and people, it was gone..........

That's right ya'll...he swallowed it whole and then licked the floor clean. G-ross. I think he learned his lesson. The next night his stomach was making such weird noises that when he would hear it, he would jump up and start barking like it was coming from some other source. By the way, this is our lab, Reverend, and until about 5 days ago i thought he was precious in every way.

Unfortunately, that was only the first of many pof's (poop on floor). And before you tell me to put panties on the girl to avoid pof's, I have tried it and I've decided i would way rather clean a pof than try to salvage a pair of panties. "Just throw them away!" you say. Brothers and Sisters I am a card carrying member of "I'd rather toss is than clean it". However, it is possible that i have been to lazy to get Abbey her own undies and she might have been wearing Ainsley's. So i decided at some point Ains could become an innocent bystander and until i can make a trip to walmart for some backup undies, I (and by "I" i mean aaron) will be cleaning up pof.

And so this blog goes out to that little blue book i bought at barnes and noble some 2 years ago that promised me i could potty train in a day.

P.S. Yes mom, i did clean the kitchen floor anyway. :)

This is a test...

2009-03-13T11:40:00.000-07:00

*UPDATE* I think it's working :)

*UPDATE* The video is only letting me watch about 4 seconds at a time. Lame. I'm going to keep working on it.

Today I am going to see if i have the skills required to post a video. I chose this video because it manages to showcase all three of the girls.

Things to watch for (if it works):

1)Ainsley casting spells with her new magic wand. Apparently spell casting requires a heavy hand. I think if you listen closely you will hear that she is turning everyone into a mermaid.

2) Abbey does two things of note...one you will find very reminiscent of yours truly on a christmas morning not so long ago. The other thing Ainsley and Abbey do is anytime they find a piece of string they swing it around and yell "in the name of the hundred acre woods, I capture you!"

3) Alivia doesn't do much except try to walk around in the pjs that are about 5 sizes too big. Steph, I can't believe i'm giving you fuel for your "the baby of the family is so mistreated" fire :).

oh, i almost forgot (i've had plenty of time to think because it is taking this video FOREVER to upload) but Ainsley says thank you without any prompting! Apparently it is not a waste of my breath to remind them CONSTANTLY. Anyway, i thought i should point that out since being gracious is way more important to me than the funny things they do! :)

Love ya'll, Aud

Introducing....

2009-03-12T19:11:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess it's about time i tried my hand at blogging. Not because i have anything particularly inspiring to say but mostly because i need to remember things. I've seen a lot of people use these as "baby books" and I thought it would be a great way to remember all those things aaron and i will need to recall one day when my girls have their boyfriends over. For instance (in front of said boyfriend) Hey hon, remember that time when abbey pretended like she had been in a car wreck and used a pantyliner as her bandaid? She is just soooo precious. Oh and look! Here's a picture!
Yes, I can see this coming in very handy. My wonderful sister Beth set this up for me because i think she knows how technologically challenged i am. She did a fabulous job but i had to change the name because she was just too dang nice. I feel that the new title allows for oh say, maybe a story about that time in the walmart checkout line when ainsley was suddenly all about touching my boobs and talking about the milk that came out of them...mind you she was not using her inside voice. Anyway, i really appreciate beth taking the time to do this for me. She's the best.

And now i feel it is appropriate to introduce you to my family...i'm not sure why because i can't imagine that anyone besides family will read this but it just feels right so here goes...
This is my husband Aaron...he loves to read and this is about 5 minutes after he got his Kindell in the mail (i don't even know how to spell that, sorry hon). He was a little bit excited. I love him, he is perfect for me and he puts up with a whole lot of crazy from me.

This is our oldest, Ainsley. She is in a major princess phase and if she knew what i was up to here she would probably demand the caption under this read "Ariel and her Seashells".

And making her second appearance is our middle child Abbey. She is also caught up in the princess craze but is not nearly as "prim" as her older sister...and that is so endearing.
And last but certainly not least is "the baby" Alivia. She is sooooo easy going which is fortunate because she is often an innocent victim of "pretend". Here she is "pretending" to be Baby Jesus.

That's about it! Hope to see the fam here often!